Operatic Casanova

If you’re sick of manufactured scandals, such as a nation freaking out over PG-13 cell-phone photos of a congressman’s package, you might appreciate a look back at real controversy. Consider, for instance, a womanizing monarch who imprisoned or killed the husbands of his mistresses. Victor Hugo’s 19th-century novel Le Roi…

Hairstory Lesson

Hair is a form of communication: A mullet or Mohawk speaks volumes about a person. And in the ’60s, it was all about the length of one’s mane. Letting your hair grow out meant you were breaking with your parents’ conservative choice of coifs and mores — choosing to tune…

Lime Fresh Mexican’s Ghost Pepper: World’s Spiciest Food

​On a recent weekend in South Beach, two Russian tourists visited Lime Fresh Mexican Grill on 15th Street and Alton Road. They ordered burritos and tacos, scooped some of the house-made salsa labeled “very hot” into a plastic container, and sat outside in a shaded booth. A few minutes later,…

Are “Facials” Demeaning? Two Feminists Weigh in on Porn

When most people think porn convention or really just porn in general, the dominant image is men ogling haughty Barbie-like blondes with big implants and small IQs. But the truth is, plenty of intelligent, sex-positive ladies are not only making porn, but consuming porn. This may come as a shock,…

37. Chicharrón at El Palacio de los Jugos

As we count down to New Times’ Best of Miami 2011 in June, Short Order will serve up 100 of our favorite dishes in the 305 in random order. If you have any nominations of your own, please send them to cafe@miaminewtimes.com. After the jump, find our other choices. 37…

41. Lifefood Gourmet’s Raw and Vegan Vegetable Pizza

As we count down to New Times’ Best of Miami 2011 in June, Short Order will serve up 100 of our favorite dishes in the 305 in random order. If you have any nominations of your own, please send them to cafe@miaminewtimes.com. After the jump, find our other choices. 41…

Soulja Boy Officially Kills Hip-Hop Once and For All

​Despite repeated CPR attempts by Nas, it appears hip-hop officially flatlined last week, suffering a painful, humiliating death at the hands of an assailant known as Soulja Boy. The murderer suffers from a massive delusional disorder and he’s known for many inexplicable acts, such as smearing Wite-Out all over his sunglasses, basically…

Kid Rock Wins NAACP Award For No Apparent Reason, “Loves Black People”

Upon reading Billboard’s report that crappy rap-country mish-masher Kid Rock received a Great Expectations Award from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People on Sunday, our first reaction was, WTF? People still listen to Kid Rock? Our second thought was, WTF? How has Kid Rock advanced anything other than the general…

Brew at the Zoo, April 30

View photos from Brew at the Zoo 2011 here.This past Saturday night, you could have removed all wildlife from Zoo Miami and it still would have been overrun by animals: a species known as frat boyalis to be exact. Said crazy mammal was observed square-dancing to Otis Day & the Knights, originally…

Vizcaya Evening Under the Stars in Pictures

Saturday night, Vizcaya’s annual fundraiser Evening Under the Stars turned into a monsoon under the stars. Rain splattered the plastic tarp that enclosed serving stations and bars. Water flooded the stone terrace as DJ Crunchtime and GBump (Karim of Ketchy Shuby) started their set. Shoes were kicked off, plates of…

Bruise Cruise Festival 2012 Dates and Initial Lineup Announced

Good news for anyone who missed the chance to rock out ironically while simultaneously creeping out sunbathing Midwesterners this past February … As our sister blog County Grind reported earier today, Bruise Cruise Festival organizers have announced the second installment of the sea-faring indie music fest, taking place February 10…

47. Banh Cuon at Hy Vong

As we count down to New Times’ Best of Miami 2011 in June, Short Order will serve up 100 of our favorite dishes in the 305 in random order. If you have any nominations of your own, please send them to cafe@miaminewtimes.com. After the jump, find our other choices. 47…

Is Glow-in-the-Dark Pork a Sign of the Apocalypse?

​There have been a lot of signs of the apocalypse lately. Earthquake in Haiti, tsunami in Japan, the Donald runs for prez. But this week’s hint at impending global doom comes courtesy of Changsha, China, where several people bought a bunch of pork, left it in their kitchens, and woke…

Cycle and Spray: Graffiti Bike Tour Explores Wywood Sunday

Unlike its sister art forms that hang neatly in pristine galleries, graffiti offers no dainty placards to explain technique, meaning, or message. Three- or four-letter tags and, occasionally, year and crew, are the only hints at the personalities behind the spray cans and the stories hidden in the curves of…

Seven Pretty, Evil, and Homicidal Easter Eggs

Oh, you thought your children were so talented because they affixed a bunch of stickers to a hard-boiled egg and it looks cuter than a baby bunny sliding down a rainbow atop a unicorn? Well, we hate to inform you, but your child is a simpleton.In Ukraine, tykes are in…