If you’ve been meaning to eat off the floor of Fusion Lounge (727 Lincoln Ln., Miami Beach), you might want to live your dream before this weekend. This Friday, Fusion will host the next gathering of the Black Sheep Society, a sister party to Submission, the South Beach “fetish and…
This Wednesday, 20 of Miami’s finer restaurants will serve food and drink pairings at the fifth-annual To Live & Dine in Miami at the Moore Building (4040 NE Second Ave., Miami). The excuse for the event is the yearly restaurant issue of MIAMI magazine, the magazine for people who like…
If you’re ranking the world’s best party demographics, young progressives easily make the top three, just behind pagans and just above people on sinking ocean liners. At the Blue Party fundraiser that the Miami-Dade Democratic Party is hosting Saturday night at Avenue D (8 S. Miami Ave., Miami), you’ll see…
One of the most sublime pleasures of this Miami summer comes just before the intermission in GableStage’s new production of Good People, when Jean, a track-suited Bostonian played by Elizabeth Dimon, takes to her feet in a bingo hall and bellows, “Cocksucker!” It’s delivered in a choleric “pahk the cahk…
If behind every great man is a great woman, then behind every great woman is a great bumbum. It stands to reason, then, that the women with the greatest bumbums in the world would also be the greatest women in the world. Friends, we have witnessed these bumbums and can…
Many women have an acceptable set of buttocks. Some have one seemingly perfect buttock that is paired with a deflated, swaying cheek or, worse, one with a single, twisted antler growing from it. But not Miss Bumbum. Her bumbum is perfect. And unmarried. Miss Bumbum is the winner of a…
Up a narrow stairway off Coral Way, in a windowless backroom on the second floor, a young man screams, “I don’t know which medications I’m taking anymore! I want to be me, but I don’t know who that is!” Sweat gathers on his wide sideburns. He hasn’t yet changed out…
Up a narrow stairway off Coral Way, in a windowless backroom on the second floor, a young man screams, “I don’t know which medications I’m taking anymore! I want to be me, but I don’t know who that is!” Sweat gathers on his wide sideburns. He hasn’t yet changed out…
Many women have an acceptable set of buttocks. Some have one seemingly perfect buttock that is paired with a deflated, swaying cheek, or worse, one with a single, twisted antler growing from it. Not Miss Bumbum. Her bumbum is perfect. And unmarried. Miss Bumbum is also the winner of a…
Mario Lavandeira, better known as gossip blogger Perez Hilton, doesn’t make it back to his hometown of Miami that often, but when he does, he tries to make it interesting. This time around, he’ll be hosting the Ultimate Drag Queen competition at the Magic City Casino tomorrow night. “I’m the…
It has all the makings of the most fabulous heist movie ever. Check this rag-tag team: gossip blogger Perez Hilton, Grammy-winning Motown diva Thelma Houston, and RuPaul’s All Stars Drag Race champion Chad Michaels. They are teaming up to steal your heart at the finals of the Ultimate Miami Drag…
At Florida Supercon, anything goes. Well, almost anything. According to the official rules, here’s what was off-limits: leashes extended between two or more people; public exposure, flashing, or other exposed genitals, buttocks, or breasts; weapons “brandished, swung around, or used in a threatening manner”; and solicitation. On paper, those were…
As Sgt. Slaughter climbed into the ring to face the Iron Sheik in a professional wrestling match in 1984, there were at least two American presidents watching. “When I met Presidents Reagan and Nixon later on,” Slaughter tells Cultist, “both said they had seen it and had stood up and…
The sun never used to set on the British Empire, but have you seen those people lately? Golem from Lord of the Rings looks like James Brown compared to the rest of his countrymen. Yesterday, we celebrated taking those snooty jerks down a peg in 1776 by recreating our battles…
In the skies over America tonight, we will celebrate our independence from good Indian food and universal healthcare by exploding fireworks o’er our ramparts. All well and good, but nothing really competes with the old fashioned razzle dazzle of jazz hands. Fortunately, George Takei has got you covered. In the…
Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Yes, it’s probably a plane, because you’re standing right next to the airport, among 900 guys who look like Kevin Smith and what we’ll all pretend is a superhot babe inside that Chewbacca suit. But back inside, wiping sloppy-joe…
One way a person can be funnier than a tree is by not being born — living and dying in the same exact place. Take for example stand-up comedians Nema Williams and Ed Blaze. Williams was born in Japan and grew up in Nepal and California. Blaze is from Tanzania…
Star Trek‘s George Takei at Florida Supercon 2013
Some Fourth of July trivia for you. Everyone knows that the 13 stripes on the American flag represent the original 13 colonies. But what about the 50 stars? Most people assume it’s the 50 states but hey, geniuses: there weren’t 50 states yet when we invented flags in 1776. The…
This week we celebrate America’s independence. And while we can’t offer you an interview with George Washington, we can offer something much better: George Takei. After all, by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Takei was the captain of his own spaceship. The best Washington ever managed was a glorified…
When Daniel Tosh comes to town this Saturday, it will be almost a year to the day since the comedian informed an audience member that it would be funny if she were gang-raped. The funniness was a surprise to the woman and to most other people as well, so it’s…
Statistically, the Miami Marlins are the worst team in baseball, which isn’t to say there aren’t other things they are good at. Heck, Aung San Suu Kyi could very well suck at juggling, but that’s why she’s dedicated herself to opposing Burma’s military junta, not joining a circus. By the…
