Whip It Real Good

If you’ve been meaning to eat off the floor of Fusion Lounge (727 Lincoln Ln., Miami Beach), you might want to live your dream before this weekend. This Friday, Fusion will host the next gathering of the Black Sheep Society, a sister party to Submission, the South Beach “fetish and…

Help the Hungry (aka You)

This Wednesday, 20 of Miami’s finer restaurants will serve food and drink pairings at the fifth-annual To Live & Dine in Miami at the Moore Building (4040 NE Second Ave., Miami). The excuse for the event is the yearly restaurant issue of MIAMI magazine, the magazine for people who like…

Yes We Can Get Laid

If you’re ranking the world’s best party demographics, young progressives easily make the top three, just behind pagans and just above people on sinking ocean liners. At the Blue Party fundraiser that the Miami-Dade Democratic Party is hosting Saturday night at Avenue D (8 S. Miami Ave., Miami), you’ll see…

Good People at GableStage: Great Cursing, Solid Performances

One of the most sublime pleasures of this Miami summer comes just before the intermission in GableStage’s new production of Good People, when Jean, a track-suited Bostonian played by Elizabeth Dimon, takes to her feet in a bingo hall and bellows, “Cocksucker!” It’s delivered in a choleric “pahk the cahk…

Nobel Prize in Badonkadonks

Many women have an acceptable set of buttocks. Some have one seemingly perfect buttock that is paired with a deflated, swaying cheek or, worse, one with a single, twisted antler growing from it. But not Miss Bumbum. Her bumbum is perfect. And unmarried. Miss Bumbum is the winner of a…

Just the Funny’s Actors Search for Truth in Spontaneous Jokes

Up a narrow stairway off Coral Way, in a windowless backroom on the second floor, a young man screams, “I don’t know which medications I’m taking anymore! I want to be me, but I don’t know who that is!” Sweat gathers on his wide sideburns. He hasn’t yet changed out…

A Real Drag

It has all the makings of the most fabulous heist movie ever. Check this rag-tag team: gossip blogger Perez Hilton, Grammy-winning Motown diva Thelma Houston, and RuPaul’s All Stars Drag Race champion Chad Michaels. They are teaming up to steal your heart at the finals of the Ultimate Miami Drag…

Nerd Alert

Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! Yes, it’s probably a plane, because you’re standing right next to the airport, among 900 guys who look like Kevin Smith and what we’ll all pretend is a superhot babe inside that Chewbacca suit. But back inside, wiping sloppy-joe…

Funnier Than a Tree

One way a person can be funnier than a tree is by not being born — living and dying in the same exact place. Take for example stand-up comedians Nema Williams and Ed Blaze. Williams was born in Japan and grew up in Nepal and California. Blaze is from Tanzania…

George Takei Talks Artie Lange’s Suicide Attempt, and Also His Cats

This week we celebrate America’s independence. And while we can’t offer you an interview with George Washington, we can offer something much better: George Takei. After all, by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Takei was the captain of his own spaceship. The best Washington ever managed was a glorified…

Tosh Point Uh-Oh

When Daniel Tosh comes to town this Saturday, it will be almost a year to the day since the comedian informed an audience member that it would be funny if she were gang-raped. The funniness was a surprise to the woman and to most other people as well, so it’s…

Fish or Cut Bait?

Statistically, the Miami Marlins are the worst team in baseball, which isn’t to say there aren’t other things they are good at. Heck, Aung San Suu Kyi could very well suck at juggling, but that’s why she’s dedicated herself to opposing Burma’s military junta, not joining a circus. By the…