Is there any woman who wants to hear that sex with her is like your mom’s home cooking? I doubt further comparisons to cash, adulation from fans, and that new car smell are going to erase the awkwardness of that opener. Neither will “I know you like it as much…

Akon has personality beyond his reedy tenor, which is why he has more hits than Mark Morrison and Kevin Lyttle combined. He also avoids hysterics, but this drab ballad — yet another that deals with social and political unrest in the form of a question — has little to recommend…

With a menacing riff highlighting the unspoken influence of grunge on Julian Casablancas’s slurred vocals, the band sounds more like The Vines than “Last Nite.” It’s doubtful this track will inspire anyone who doesn’t already care about The Strokes, unless alt-nostalgia is stronger than it seems…

Brown’s voice conveys a boyish sweetness — a trait reinforced by his declaration, “There’s nothing wrong with dancing”— and “Yo” is refreshing when compared with aggro horndogs such as Pretty Ricky. Hard to believe Juelz Santana was quoting “Wait (The Whisper Song)” on his last single…

Is it good or bad when the most notable aspect of an album is its drumming? Throughout Lindsay Lohan’s A Little More Personal (Raw), the drums give every crisply produced track a welcome jolt of energy. It’s a peculiar element to hail, but imagining this mawkish metapop without the percussive…

Just when it looked like crunk held no more surprises, D4L shows up to yell and grunt over MIDI tracks even more twerpy and minimal than early Depeche Mode. The contradiction is equal parts baffling and intriguing; here’s hoping more interesting rappers try it sometime…

Make Believe might be too unashamedly mawkish for many old-school fans (A power ballad named “Hold Me”? Yeesh.), but the chorus for “Perfect Situation” shows that Rivers Cuomo can still knock out an ingratiating hook — as long as he doesn’t attach any words to it…

Reggae diehards may not appreciate American kings celebrating the voodoo kisses of Jamaican queens, but addicts of Kelly’s crackpot enthusiasm won’t bother debating how his paean to exotic ass-shake compares to “Welcome to Jamrock.” Smart people watch the Cartoon Network and CNN, you know…

Shania (speaking for some Desperate Housewives), frustrated by the inscrutability of men, condemns them to objectified accessorial status, her laughter over this revelation barely disguising her contempt. Mutt Lange is like a pair of glass slippers, I reckon…

Lil Wayne gets to speak his peace first, but once Trina grabs the mike, he sits out the rest of the track as a mere hook-slinger. Trina’s confidence and lyrical authority make even the gruffest rapper sound happy to sit back and ride shotgun, hoping if he plays it cool,…

This Tennessee all-star bid for a mainstream single is free of the anxiety to which vets tend to submit. They know they don’t have to try hard to fit in with the syrup abuse and Southern pride dominating the charts today. A glitzy video and a reaffirmation of their status…

Unlike most of its Brit-rock peers, Franz Ferdinand realizes you need to drop some “You Really Got Me”s before you make a Village Green. The group’s disco-Davies sound hasn’t changed a bit, but cries for evolution seem pedantic in the face of FF’s flirtatious exuberance. And it’s not like the…

In this cut’s computer-animated video, a pantless ragga-frog zips across the globe, blurting out “Ding! Ding!” over Harold Faltermeyer’s Eighties classic (a.k.a. the theme from Beverly Hills Cop) at least once every ad break, determined to make the most of his fifteen minutes of fame. His giant eyes suggest either…