Zodiac Sign Fail Involving Ophiuchus, Dude with a Snake

Some of us are really attached to our astrological signs. We're proud of being majestic Leos, stubborn Tauruses, and extroverted Aries. However, according to astronomer Parke Kunkle (yes, that is his real name), you may be fronting the wrong sign.

Kunkle has declared that there are actually 13 zodiac signs instead of the 12 we know about. This means that each of our signs has jumped a whole month forward (e.g., if you were a Taurus, you'd now be an Aries). Why? Because of having to make room for that pesky new sign: Ophiuchus, the snake charmer. We're not kidding. Ophi is the only sign not to be represented by an animal or mythological creature. He's just a dude with a snake. Really.

Before you start asking yourself if this could suck any worse, we're gonna let you in on a little something. Some things actually. There are two types of zodiacs: tropical and sidereal. The tropical zodiac, used in the West, is fixed to the seasons and the sidereal zodiac, used in the East, is fixed to constellations.

Ophi crashed the party on the East side -- meaning unless you live in Asia, you're zodiac sign should still be the same. And even if you do follow the sidereal zodiac, these changes would only count for those born after 2008 -- meaning you are free and clear unless you're an ankle-biting toddler.

Another thing to keep in mind: Kunkle is a total hater. He doesn't even believe in astrology to begin with. Like he told the Minneapolis-Star Tribune, "Sure, we can connect harvest to the stars. But personality? No." Obviously this guy doesn't know what he's talking about.

We here at Cultist wanted to tell you the truth before you fell for all the misleading crap floating around the internet right now. We wouldn't want you to go down to the tattoo shop and get Libra's scales tattooed over your bad ass scorpion tattoo. That would be a damn shame.

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Ily Goyanes
Contact: Ily Goyanes