Remember when watching the Oscars was just that -- watching the ceremony without any distractions, except for playing drinking games and tracking your Oscars pool? Man, did that ever suck.
Thank god Twitter came along and changed things forever. These days, the real show is online, where everybody hates everything and has a funny way to tell you why. As Billy Crystal laughed at all his un-funny jokes and the awards themselves went off without any suspense, our snarky Twitter feed is the only thing that kept us awake through last night's sad, awkward ceremony.
And there were a few gems that were just too good to keep to ourselves. Here are our favorite 140-character punchlines from this year's Oscars.
Seriously, did you see that guy?
True story: We were so distracted by the possibility of J Lo's nipple making a surprise appearance that we totally missed what she and Cameron Diaz were saying. It was something about movies, right?
We hope, for their sake, that they skipped the Oscars entirely. No amount of weed in the world could've made Billy Crystal's opening song enjoyable.
Jeff Ross speaks for us all.
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Steve Martin was clearly rooting for Bridesmaids.
Did you hear that crazy bleep-blooping in the background, too? Just what last night's ceremony needed: more annoyances.
...and also @angiesrightleg, which has 10,593 followers. Way to harness the power of social media.