That $40 million yacht of yours is so 2017. It's time to find an upgrade at the Miami International Boat Show. Whether you're in the market for a new dreamboat or simply want to gawk at vessels out of your league, this spectacle will satisfy. This year's show boasts more than 1,500 of the newest boats, yachts, catamarans, and sailboats. You'll want to bring the selfie stick to this one, taking place at Miami Marine Stadium and offering attendees the opportunity to step aboard many of the boats. Thursday through Monday at Miami Marine Stadium, 3501 Rickenbacker Cswy., Key Biscayne; miamiboatshow.com. Tickets start at $25.
The season of love doesn't have to end on Valentine's Day. In case your romantic vibes flow into the rest of the week, Moon River Cabaret will celebrate its first anniversary at Vagabond Kitchen & Bar. The evening will include the cabaret's trademark Burlesque Dinner Party, offering sultry tunes, comedy, and, of course, a live striptease that will blow your mind. Can't make the big b-day event? The burlesque will hit Vagabond monthly every third Thursday. 8 p.m. Thursday at Vagabond Kitchen & Bar, 7301-A Biscayne Blvd., Miami; eventbrite.com. Tickets cost $10.
The words "art" and "Wynwood" go together like yin and yang. And there is perhaps no better place to experience them together than the annual Art Wynwood fair. Back for a seventh edition, this year's megashow will take place at a new, waterfront location overlooking Biscayne Bay. Among the big-time artists headlining the 2018 edition are Logan Hicks, Luis Valenzuela, and rocker Jason Newsted. Thursday through Monday at the Art Wynwood Pavilion, 1 Herald Plaza at NE 14th Street between the Venetian and MacArthur Causeways, Miami; artwynwood.com. Daily tickets start at $25, and student, child, and group discounts are available.
Ladies, leave your man at home. This Thursday, the South Beach pizzeria Molto will launch its monthly party for women, Periodically. Among the specials to get your drank on are $20 beer buckets, $7 whiskey shots, and $15 cocktail pitchers. Known as an up-and-coming gay bar with memorable drag shows, it's bound to be an epic night for any lady. 8 p.m. Thursday at Molto South Beach, 1237 Lincoln Rd., Miami; facebook.com. Admission is free.
Your favorite ABC show is hitting a local stage. No, we're not talking about The Bachelor (though it was recently filmed in Fort Lauderdale). Dancing With the Stars: Live will take over Hard Rock Live, where it'll present Season 25 Mirrorball Trophy winner Jordan Fisher and the always-beloved Frankie Muniz. If the Malcolm in the Middle star can get down onstage, it's likely you'll be shaking a hip or two in the audience. 8 p.m. Thursday at Hard Rock Live, 5747 Seminole Way, Hollywood; ticketmaster.com. Tickets start at $40.
You might've heard Hamilton is coming to the Broward Center at the end of the year. But that's just one of the awesome shows in Broadway Across America's South Florida lineup this year. Among them is Wicked. The lovable story follows the untold tale of the Land of Oz, long before Dorothy arrived. Wicked is also slated to hit the big screen in 2019, so you'll want to get in on the action before everyone goes gaga over the film. Through March 4 at Broward Center for the Performing Arts, 201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale; browardcenter.org. Tickets start at $34.50.
Apart from the Caribbean islands, South Florida might have the world's largest concentration of Bob Marley fans. If you need an evening to connect with his tunes in an authentic way, the sixth-annual Locos por Marley is the place to be. The evening will include the Grammy-nominated Latin band Locos por Juana performing a tribute set. The group will be joined by Tomas Diaz & the Sound Boutique as well as the reggae-centric music company Kulcha Shok. 6 p.m. Friday at La Garage Wynwood, 127 NW 23rd St., Wynwood; facebook.com. Tickets cost $10 in advance and $20 at the door.
If you've ever wanted to gawk at a bunch of models in bikinis and swim trunks, congratulations — you're in Miami, where that sort of thing is available 24/7. But at Model Beach Volleyball, which will soon take over South Beach for a ninth year, you can do it while pretending you're simply an avid sports fan. More than 250 models will spike it out in the world's hottest v-ball tournament. Flo Rida will host the two-day affair, and YesJulz, Olivia Pierson, Natalie Halcro, and others will make special appearances. 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Friday and Saturday near Eighth Street and Ocean Drive, Miami Beach; modelbeachvolleyball.com. Admission is free.
Kids these days are so complicated, with all of their entertainment needs and debauchery. Remember the good old days when flying a kite sufficed as a good time? Relive that simpler time at the 26th-annual Kite Days Festival in Haulover Park. In what is truly a colorful spectacle, anyone and everyone is welcome to fly their kite or buy one of their own onsite. Kite staples of the event include a 150-foot rainbow, 100-foot squid, and 30-foot scuba diver. Let's hope this weekend is windy. Noon to 5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday at Haulover Park, 10800 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; skywardkites.com. Admission is free; parking costs $7.
Sure, Guns N' Roses are great. But have you ever wished they had more badass female energy? If so, the all-girl tribute group Paradise Kitty is your jam. Hailing from West Hollywood, California, Paradise Kitty will rock an intimate set at Cash Only. The group is composed of five GNR superfans who simply want to capture the musical vibe of one of their favorite bands. Will they live up to it? Well, if they're traveling this far for a string of shows, you better believe it. 9 p.m. Saturday at Cash Only, 15 W. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale; eventbrite.com. Admission costs $5.
If you grew up in Miami with family or friends who thought of themselves as artsy, you probably have fond memories of the Coconut Grove Arts Festival. Yeah, you had to park at the Metrorail station and walk a mile to get to the festivities, but once you were there, you became cultured, an art collector if you purchased a photograph or small craft. Launched in 1963, the fest began as a publicity stunt for the Coconut Grove Playhouse and is still going strong a half-century later. And now, thanks to Uber and Lyft, you don't have to walk a mile in the blazing sun to enjoy this huge staple of creativity and community. 10 a.m. Saturday through Monday at 2700 S. Bayshore Dr., Coconut Grove; cgaf.com. Admission costs $15.
There is plenty of misery to go around while the Marlins self-implode. Maybe it's time to get behind a new team: Miami's Vice City Rollers. The roller-derby squad will kick off its seventh season Saturday against West Palm Beach's Dub City Militia. In addition to our badass team showing Dub City who's boss, there will be food trucks, raffles, and craft beer to help you get that much more into the raucous vibe. 6 p.m. Saturday at Suniland Hockey Rink, 9300 Coral Reef Dr., Miami; facebook.com. Tickets cost $10 to $15.
Want stories of the past presented to you in a way that is more interesting than anything on the History Channel? Miami Theater Center is here for your education and entertainment, making history exciting with Theatre Unspeakable: The American Revolution. In 50 minutes with seven actors in a tiny space with no props, the troupe re-creates the entire Revolutionary War. Sounds like an impossible task? Just try them. Head out to laugh and learn at the rowdy, physical, and wonderfully creative performance. Noon and 7 p.m. Saturday at 9806 NE Second Ave., Miami Shores; mtcmiami.org. Admission costs $5 to $10.
Ten years ago, the idea of a big gay festival in Little Havana was practically unthinkable. Straight, old Cuban guys aren't known for being inclusive. But here we are in 2018, and Little Havana is a beautiful mix of colors and genders and orientations. The Gay8 Festival offers the Latino LGBTQ community music, food, and art. The one-day street fest also includes a film showcase hosted by Miami Dade College and the OutShine Film Festival at the Tower Theater as well as a literary event for gay gals, Women's Tertulia. 11 a.m. Sunday at 1575 SW Eighth St., Miami; gay8festival.com. Admission is free.
Rain, flu, romantic anxiety: February is the worst. So treat yo'self at the gorgeous St. Regis Bal Harbour Resort with a boozy brunch worth the bill. Rosé Sunday includes a long list of bottomless rosé wines, champagnes, and the signature St. Regis cocktail and bloody mary. The menu was crafted by executive chef Franck Steigerwald and includes a drool-inducing dry-aged roast prime rib. Seafood lovers will enjoy king crab legs, oysters, caviar, and the like. There'll be a macaron display too, so don't eat breakfast before going. 11 a.m. Sunday at St. Regis Bal Harbour, 9703 Collins Ave., Bal Harbour; stregisbalharbour.com. Admission costs $45 for children and $95 for adults.
If you're a fan of the absurd who's not afraid of clowns, you're in luck. Puddles Pity Party is coming to Fort Lauderdale's Parker Playhouse. This clown is a YouTube star with a beautiful voice who reinterprets and mashes up classic tunes by the Who, Johnny Cash, Abba, and others. It's kind of a tearjerker but also kinda funny. If you can handle both emotions, see the show that even Simon Cowell described as "fantastically brilliant... originality at its best." 7:30 p.m. Sunday at Parker Playhouse, 707 NE Eighth St., Fort Lauderdale; parkerplayhouse.com. Tickets cost $25 to $43.
There are stars, and then there's Mary J. Blige. She's practically a whole other galaxy. The singer and actress will perform at Hard Rock Live, where she'll evoke a host of feelings you thought you left back in college. She was recently nominated for an Oscar and a Golden Globe for acting in 2017's Mudbound and also for best original song. She even released a perfume, My Life, with Home Shopping Network. Maybe she's "Not Gon Cry," but you sure will at her show. 8 p.m. Monday at Hard Rock Live, 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood; seminolehardrockhollywood.com. Tickets cost $35 to $120.
Miami has never been a town known for folk music. But every once in a while, Churchill's Pub transforms into 1960s Greenwich Village when the people from All Folk'd Up get fired up to show off local acts with some folk roots. This week is the third anniversary of the unlikely but popular night. Be sure to catch tunes by the talented and spirited W.D. Miller, and get some one-man-band action with Lone Wolf. The night, hosted by Ryan Carney, will also include musicians Karen Fender, Two Dollar Pistol, Womanmay, Uncle Scotchy, and Bloody Elephants. 9 p.m. Tuesday at Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; churchillspub.com. Admission costs $5.
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There aren't many opportunities to camp out at a music fest in a major city. But the Virginia Key Grassroots Festival offers camping during its days of music and dance under the sun and stars just a few miles from downtown Miami. The event encourages multiculturalism and chilling out through music, art, dance, education, wellness, and sustainability. You healthy bastards will enjoy it, and so will you funky roots-music lovers. The fest will offer all kinds of notable and original Florida sounds, including Big Mean, Elastic Bond, Afrobeta, Telekinetic Walrus, Nag Champayons, and Otto Von Schirach. 9 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday, February 25, at Virginia Key Beach Park, 4020 Virginia Beach Dr., Key Biscayne; virginiakeygrassroots.com. Tickets start at $35.
What do you know about Perrine? The town lies about halfway between Miami and Homestead and has been home to generations of South Floridians, many of whom are black. Trinidad-born, Miami-based documentary photographer Johanne Rahaman's project BlackFlorida records and showcases Florida's black neighborhoods. In her upcoming photography exhibition, "BlackFlorida: Perrine," she explores the founding of Perrine and its backstory, such as the time in 1949 when white people dissolved the town for electing a black mayor. A curator's conversation will introduce you to this South Miami-Dade city, its history, and its residents at the gorgeous and historic Deering Estate. 7 to 9 p.m. Wednesday at Deering Estate, 16701 SW 72 Ave., Miami; deeringestate.org. Admission is free.
You love singing Barry Manilow songs whether or not you know it. This is the guy behind the hits "Mandy" and "Copacabana," epically groovy hits dominating oldies radio and your memory. The singer-songwriter and producer has been doing his thang for 50 years and scored 47 Top 40 singles. He is the real deal. Manilow inspired Dylan and Sinatra, has produced Midler and Warwick, and will croon at Hard Rock Live this week. 8 p.m. Wednesday at Hard Rock Live, 1 Seminole Way, Hollywood; seminolehardrockhollywood.com. Tickets cost $65 to $180.