Tan Mom has a music video. It features lyrics like "I'm hotter than Octomom" and "It's Tan Mom, bitch." There are tacky green screen effects, and two unfortunate male background dancers, and a cringeworthy section featuring some bukkake-style sunscreen application.
Don't watch it.
Seriously, I'm just putting this out there because it's my job. You can still save your sanity and your Monday morning by simply not clicking. Don't do it.
You can't say I didn't warn you.
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.
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