Pepe Billete's Open Letter to Elian Gonzalez

Dear Elian,

I'm writing to offer you a bit of the wisdom that was passed down to me by my Cuban abuelos, because after reading your comments in the interview you recently gave on the heels of your trip to Ecuador, I think it's the least I can do for you, short of actually flying to Ecuador y regalandote una buena pata por culo. It comes in the form of an old Spanish proverb that reads:

"Calladito, te ves más bonito."

Like most insightful things in life, the beauty of that statement lies in its simplicity. It's a lesson I was taught early in my life, but remains just as valid now as when I first heard it at 5 years old. It's also one that you seem to have been denied in your 20 years of life.

See also: Pepe Billete's Guide to Celebrating Hugo Chavez's Death In the 305

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Pepe Billete