Last weekend's Model Beach Volleyball Tournament brought the professionally beautiful people of Miami Beach out to play in skimpy bikinis and T-shirts with strange, revealing alterations.
It also brought out the New Times video crew, because we needed to make sure these impossibly hot hotties were, in fact, real. Spoiler alert: We now know they are real, because we poked their abs.
See that awkwardness -- as well as sexy-people tricks such as backward running, reciting Russell's paradox, and jumping an imaginary rope in slow motion -- in the video after the cut.
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