Holy Lord, the Miami Book Fair International 2010 author lineup has been announced, and it is off the chain. For the literati out there, that translates to "It's outstanding!"
Not that last year was too shabby, with amazing presentations by Native American funny-man and brilliant storyteller Sherman Alexie, "the reason we wear seat belts" Ralph Nader, and Iggy Pop. It's just that this year has so many memoirs written by people whose lives are infinitely more interesting than yours.
Here are highlights from this year's confirmed authors:
If you're into sports, muscle lady, true winner, and tennis champ Venus Williams will be promoting her new book Come to Win. Canceled, boo.
2. Maybe science is your god. For you heathens, there's Edward O. Wilson.
3. Screenwriter Nora Ephron reminisces, or rather forgets, in her newest book I Remember Nothing and Other Reflections, for the Sleepless in Seattle crowd. This is the time to tell her that When Harry Met Sally is the funniest romantic comedy of all time.
4. NPR's All Things Considered Michele Norris will be at the fair. Yes, it also drives us crazy how Michele's name is pronounced, but you know she makes your ride home bearable.
5. This may seem like an "only in Miami" moment, but Emilio Estefan penned a book. In case you didn't believe that a foreigner could immigrate to this country and become super rich (@arizona), read Estefan's The Rhythm of Success.
6. Gay Talese, who helped define New Journalism, wrote one of the most influential magazine articles of all time "Frank Sinatra Has a Cold." He'll be in town, however, to discuss his sports writing from The Silent Season of a Hero.
7. Allow us to blow your mind. John Waters, the true hero of all aspiring perverts and weirdos (re: us) will grace this undeserving city with what promises to be a brilliant conversation. Magic will happen in our hearts, and possibly our pants, when Mr. Waters shares with us his wisdom, his filthy, filthy wisdom.
8. We're not even kidding here, actor Sir Michael Caine will also be sharing his memories with South Floridians. Please try not to imagine him in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels the whole time. That's our job. (CANCELED: Sir Caine got an acting gig and can longer make the Book Fair.)
9. Another sir will be present, Salman Rushdie; a man best known for people wanting to kill him. No worries, though, he'll just be addressing his new work of fiction Luka and the Fire of Life.
10. Breathe deeply, because the next two words will make you pee a little: Patti Smith. Yes, singer/songwriter and all around goddess Smith will be talking about her memoir Just Kids, which explores her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe.
11. Sometimes we get confused and think that Meghan McCain is Lindsay Lohan, so it's off-putting to hear her talk politics. But she'll be at the Book Fair, discussing her book Dirty Sexy Politics and trying to change the Republican Party's image. (Hey, we'll take her over Palin any day.)
12. Jonathan Franzen has been a hipster literati hero ever since he refused to let his novel The Corrections be part of Oprah's Book Club. He's since taught us How to Be Alone. Next up, Freedom.
13. Charles Burns's Black Hole might be the most read comic series in recent years. You've also seen his illustrations in The Believer and on Fever Ray album covers. Burns canceled, sad face.
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14. Also on this year's roster is rock journalist Greil Marcus, who gets paid to riff on punk rock, Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, and Van Morrison. Must be nice.
15. Her recent novel, A Visit From the Goon Squad, is getting a lot of attention, so be grateful that Jennifer Egan will grace Miami with her wordsmithing presence.
And the following authors stopped at Books & Books over the past several months, but they'll be back for the Book Fair: Sebastian Junger (War), Gwynne Dyer (Climate Wars), Jonathan Eig (Capone), David Kirkpatrick (The Facebook Effect)
Presented by the Florida Center for the Literary Arts at Miami Dade College (MDC), Miami Book Fair International 2010 will take place from November 14th to 21st at the MDC's Wolfson Campus (300 NE Second Ave., Miami). The street fair runs all weekend from November 19-21, with more than 200 exhibitors ready to sling you books.