If you're married in Miami, you might want to get out of town this summer. No, not to avoid the hurricanes -- to avoid a nasty divorce.
A new report blames global warming for rising rates of infidelity, especially bad news for couples in Miami, where rising tides and raging hurricanes remind us all how much extracurricular sex we could be having on a daily basis.
Victoria Milan, a dating website for people looking to cheat on their significant other, surveyed 5,000 of its members, both men and women. A shocking 72 percent of them responded that yes, their own Al Gore-esque stress about unpredictable weather is the cause of their extramarital dalliances. Guess the fact of their existing committed relationships was just an inconvenient truth.
Survey respondents also reported they're more likely to sneak a little on the side in hot weather than in cold. That makes sense -- after all, which would you say is sexier, a steamy Miami day or a polar vortex?
"Summer loving is something everyone experiences when they're growing up, and the excitement and thrill of doing something a bit naughty never fades," Victoria Milan's CEO and founder, Sigurd Vedal, explains in a statement. "It's no surprise that one half of a couple feels the itch when the weather warms up."
So let's recap: Hot, unpredictable weather makes for unfaithful partners. Just when you thought your hope of finding true love in Miami had hit rock bottom, a story like this comes along to prove there's even farther to fall. But hey, we'll all be underwater in 15 years anyway, right?
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.