DJ Khaled, king of his castle.
DJ Khaled, king of his castle.
Courtesy of Goldition

DJ Khaled's We the Best Furniture Line Is Peak Khaled

No matter what you think of DJ Khaled, you can't argue this: You can always tell when he's involved in a project.

It's true of his music, which usually includes Khaled's signature "We the Best Music!" shout. It's true of his social media posts, featuring the inimitable mix of bravado and inspirational quotes that have become his brand.

Now, it's also true of his furniture line, We the Best Home by Goldition.

"This line is an extension of me. I am involved in every aspect of the creative design process — choosing colors, fabrics, styles," Khaled told Billboard. "So I give my fans a piece of Khaled in every item.”

When other celebrities release product lines, from fashion to perfume to home goods, there's a decent chance that the famous face selling the stuff had very little input in its creation. But looking at the photos of Khaled's new collection, it's honestly hard to believe he wasn't involved in the design process. Who else would dream up the Kingdom of Khaled Throne Chair ($2,500), a massive red-velvet throne flanked by imposing golden lion statues ($699 to $1,299) with paws cut to look like precious gems?

DJ Khaled's We the Best Furniture Line Is Peak Khaled
Courtesy of Goldition

And that's just the beginning. Launching at a red-carpet event today at an El Dorado furniture store in Pembroke Pines — yes, really — the line is as over-the-top as Khaled himself. Another photo of the collection shows him lounging on a tufted black leather couch set inside a white snakeskin-patterned frame. Beside him, a matching love seat is decorated with satiny throw pillows bearing a white lion illustration. Another lion statue, this time in black, peeks out from the bottom right corner of the image as subtly as a shiny statue of a lion can manage.

DJ Khaled's We the Best Furniture Line Is Peak Khaled
Courtesy of Goldition

Khaled's aesthetic also includes a glass dining table flanked by chairs that appear to be made of crushed velvet and mirrors. There's also a massive golden chandelier with, oh my God, are those chiseled merman torsos? From it hangs a cascading series of crystals, the largest of which looks as big as Khaled's head.

A cordless phone sits on the floor in the background. Why? Maybe it's a mistake, the music mogul's own Downton Abbey water-bottle moment. But maybe it's an artistic choice. Maybe Khaled is telling us that a real king is always on call.

Other items for sale include a Miami series of golden couches, love seats, and chairs; consigliere tables consisting of glass tops held by the heads of golden lions; and dressers with drawer pulls in the shape of keys — major keys, one assumes.

"Everyone deserves to live like Kings and Queens, that's a major key," Khaled said in a statement. And, yeah, this is definitely royal decor — or at least a modernized, overblown, turned-up-to-11 take on royal that you'll find only in America. (One can only hope he gifts a lion statue to the Queen.)

But you don't need a royal budget to take home a piece of Khaled. The cheapest item in the collection is the Stay Away Welcome Mat, priced at $49 and broadcasting an image of the word THEY inside a red circle with a slash through it. What better way to communicate that only the best, AKA we, are permitted entry into your Khaledesque castle? The theys of the world can go fuck off to IKEA.

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