Who doesn't wish it was Saturday already so you could sleep in and snuggle with your best friend, Pistachio the cat and read your "Love and Work: 25 Years of Cathy Comic Strips" book? Such a morning is much dreamier than going to your shit job as a receptionist at a dentist's office. So we have some of your fantasy covered with the new viral hit "Cat Meet Dolphin," in which a playful pussy and Flipper make out.
But here at Cultist we intend to give you a super megatron extreme Saturday sensation by offering you not just one, not two, BUT SIX (UPDATE: we just added pictures of the Busch Gardens cheetah cub's new BFF!) instances of unadulterated interspecies animal adorableness. Happy Thursday!
1. Owen and Mzee
Once upon a time, there was a little hippopotamus named Owen who had a hippopotamus mommy who loved him very much. Everything was cotton candy and sunshine until one day the ocean was feeling kind of bitchy (must have been mother nature's time of month) and farted out a tsunami. Tons of massive rains eventually flushed little Owen's family down the Sabaki River, out to sea, and into oblivion. Owen, however, survived and his rescue -- performed by a man named Owen (hence the name) who had to rugby tackle the hippo to the floor -- was witnessed by hundreds of townspeople.
Owen the hippo was then taken to Lafarge Ecosystems in Mombasa, Kenya where he first laid eyes on a 130-year-old giant tortoise named Mzee and deemed Mzee his new mom. Surprisingly, the grumpy old turtle decided to return Own's affections and the two remain buds to this day:
2. Milo and Otis
If you were born in the 1980s, you're probably familiar with this epic tale of friendship, floating down a river in a box, and Dudley Moore's voice (he narrated and voiced every character in the movie). It's a sweet story about a tabby orange cat named Milo and a pug named Otis becoming the best of buddies during an adventure. Sounds kind of run-of-the-mill until you realize the original version was made in Japan, explaining many of the American version's WTF moments like Milo taking a nap in an owl's "dreaming nest", seagull mobs, and, of course, gratuitous birthing scenes:
3. The Snake and the Hamster
The story goes like this: Hamster is given to a snake as a snack, snake decides not to eat it, and the two fall in love. Aww. And may we just point out this hamster is a major slut. What? You couldn't find another rodent to satisfy you? You had to move onto a phallic shaped reptile? Whore!
4. The Tiger and the Piglets
We know, just reading "the tiger and the piglets" alone sounds like a Aesop Fable going terribly, terribly wrong. But don't fret, this story is about as sappy and saccharin as Tigger and Piglet. Well, that depends on whether or not you've heard the entire story. In 2004, when pictures of a tiger mothering piglets started swirling all over the internet, it was originally believed that a mama tiger gave birth to cubs prematurely and her little ones passed. Mama tiger then got a serious case of the sads and as a result, her health began to plummet. The peeps at her zoo looked around desperately for a litter of orphaned tiger cubs for her to adopt, but none were available. But a brood of orphaned piglets were. So they slapped some tiger striped piggy outfits on the piglets and Mama Tiger was a mama once more!
But the true story is that Mama tiger's zoo, Sriracha Tiger Zoo in Chonburi, Thailand, offers carnival-like shows and interactions for the sake of their patron's amusement, including slapping a bunch of different animal species in the same enclosure. So, basically, the pictures/videos of the tiger and her piggies were nothing more than visual entertainment for the zoo's visitors and an attempt to bring in more business. Regardless, the images are still pretty adorable:
5. Suryia and Roscoe
With a little help from National Geographic, and we're actually writing this without any trace of cynicism (we swear!), the story of Suryia the orangutan and Roscoe the stray hound dog's unlikely friendship is probably one of the most heartwarming things ever put out on the interwebs. Now excuse us, we need to stand naked inside of a walk-in freezer for a couple of hours:
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UPDATE: Cuteness Bonus!
We just got word from Busch Gardens that the cheetah cub they received only a month ago (after the furry bundle of adorableness was neglected by his
hamster-like slut of a mom) has a new playmate -- a yellow lab puppy! Busch Gardens eventually wants the darling duo to live and travel together in an attempt to teach the public about the plight of wild cheetahs (apparently, only approximately 12,400 cheetahs remain in the wild) and to stress the importance of the park's conservation efforts. They are scheduled to make their public debut at the park this Saturday, but in the mean time, here's some adorable pictures of them bonding. And if you go to Busch Gardens' Facebook page, you can help name these two fluffy sacks of awWwWwwWWww: