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The last thing you should do this Saturday is head to Churchill’s after 9 p.m. and pay $5 to hear the Jacuzzi Boys. They’re supposedly the new blood in a tradition of Florida garage rock that goes back to the ’60s, when real bands like the Montells, Evil, and the Shaggs were around. But these guys are just a bunch of swamp rats who play in a band so girls will hang out with them and take their pants off. Yeah, yeah, Pitchfork sweats their shit, and their debut LP, No Seasons, has been universally lauded as a gritty, authentic ode to the tropics, and their live shows routinely turn the dance floor into a writhing bowl of human limbs, but trust us when we tell you that you’re wasting your time. We know for a fact these are the kind of kids who break pool cues at bars and then don’t tell anyone afterward. They just sort of lay them in the corner and leave. Douchebags.
The good news is there are five other bands playing at Night After X-Mas: Dead Meat, Beings, Cammo, Weird Wives, and Deaf Poets.
Sat., Dec. 26, 9 p.m., 2009
