The Ten Best Things to Do in Miami this Weekend

Another week, another dollar has come and gone, y’all.

In the spirit of cherishing all that is good with the world (a.k.a: an absolute guarantee that the weekend will always be there to comfort our sorrows), we’re prepping to relax.

Hang loose, roam the beach, meet a really nice girl, have some really nice sex… Did you see what we did there?

Anyway, Rick Ross is having a big ol’ bash at King of Diamonds this weekend — and if you’re not square, you’ll be there. Throw on your best Rick Ross beard – see if you can get past the paparazzi.

It might be the highlight of your weekend in Miami. But if it isn’t, we have plenty more for you to do, duh.

Friday

• African Diaspora Dance and Drum Fest: Watch from :55 to 1:19. We’re gonna bring that to the clubs.
• Paris, on T’aime: Je t’aime… Ugh. That’s all we know how to say. Thanks, Dior.
• Rev Run (DJ set): Wonder if LIV is going to redecorate to make it look like Run’s House.
• The Big Show: It’s like the Miami version of Whose Line is it Anyway. Yes!
• Gigantes Tour: Marc Anthony is rather petite to be “gigante,” but we’ll let it slide.

Saturday

• Burger, Beer, Balls Bash: Who could possibly ask for more from life?
• Rick Ross God Forgives, I Don’t Official Album Release Party: Guess God will forgive any debaucheries that happen tonight.
• Miami/Bahamas Goombay Festival: Those Bahamas billboards on state road 112 west bound are always so tempting to pick up and leave!

Sunday

• O Rappa: Brazilian reggae. Yes, please.
• Oceangate’s S101 Submarine: Strap on your sea legs.

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