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Two Royal Wedding posts in row? Didn’t we just call it sickening and suggest vomit bags? Well, dear readers, it seems as though a lot of you care a whole lot about these nuptials. (Here at New Times HQ, we have a robot that roams the halls shouting the most popular Google searches and that dude won’t stop muttering royal wedding, royal wedding.)
Plus, we’re willing to admit that there’s a microscopic part of us that secretly hopes to marry a prince so we can stop blogging for this damn rag. So we mined Miami venues for the best watch parties tomorrow, but frankly, there ain’t much. Does Miami give a hoot about Wills and Kate? Is it the obvious lack of a reggaeton halftime show?
It doesn’t help that Miami is not a morning city and the Royal Wedding
starts at about 5 a.m. EST. But such an early morning is the price you
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pay for your fetishism of posh Anglo culture.
Here are the Miami Royal Wedding watch events, from most awesome to least awesome:
John Martin’s Pub gets points for originality and authenticity. The
Coral Gables pub will actually open at 5:45 a.m. to present live
coverage of the Westminster Abbey event. Guests are encouraged to dress
“royal,” and there will be a Queen Elizabeth look-alike and Prince
William and Kate cut-outs for plenty of sleepy-eyed but fun photo opps.
The National will broadcast the wedding in their Blues Bar starting at 6
a.m. Get a traditional English breakfast for $24 and whoever dons the
best Kate Middleton hat will receive a complimentary Kir Royal cocktail.
Veronica’s Dollhouse: This new boutique in South Miami is holding a tea
party to watch the Royal Wedding and learn British etiquette. As the
party runs from 6 to 9 p.m., it will be a recording of the wedding and
thus anti-climatic. More surprising will be the etiquette lesson as the
Brits consider it rude to brush one’s teeth.
Vizcaya will air the Royal Wedding on a big outdoor screen at their
fundraiser, Evening Under the Stars. Although this is another non-live
replay of the nuptials, the surrounding majestic villa grounds will at
least make the fairytale illusion more visceral.
The Biltmore Hotel is screening live, post-wedding coverage in their
Granada ballroom at 1 p.m. There will be traditional English tea,
pastries, and Champagne. But we have a hunch someone on staff will use the gathering to pitch
the Mediterranean hotel as a choice wedding spot.
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