Audio By Carbonatix
Did you hear about the kinky 71-year-old white dude from Texas who, five years ago, walked into a public restroom, allegedly dropped trou, and posed for pictures while an impressionable brunette with sad eyes pressed her head against his genitalia? What about the one of that same guy grabbing an intoxicated blond stripper’s boobs? That was none other than Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who’ll likely be in town this week as “America’s Team” travels to the Magic City for a preseason game against the Miami Dolphins (the greatest football team) this Saturday at Sun Life Stadium.
“Someone has misrepresented photos taken at a restaurant five years ago for their own purposes,” Jones recently told reporters a few days after the incriminating shots surfaced online. “I’m just not going to comment.” He did, however, promise that the Cowboys would be “pretty innovative” this year on the field, citing quarterback Tony Romo’s relationship with the club’s new passing game coordinator, Scott Linehan.
The Dolphins, on the other hand, aren’t phased. Though the team’s defense struggled last year, defensive coordinator Kevin Coyle says things are getting better: “I’m going to be confident that we’re going to have a group out there that’s going to give us our best chance to win.” He’s also confident that photos of team owner Stephen Ross playing grab-ass with women young enough to be his granddaughter are unlikely to surface.
Kickoff is at 7 p.m., and tickets cost $40 to $370 via ticketmaster.com.
Sat., Aug. 23, 7 p.m., 2014
Will you step up to support New Times this year?
At New Times, we’re small and scrappy — and we make the most of every dollar from our supporters. Right now, we’re $18,000 away from reaching our December 31 goal of $30,000. If you’ve ever learned something new, stayed informed, or felt more connected because of New Times, now’s the time to give back.
