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We’re still basking in the awesome afterglow of Borscht 7. Perhaps one of the smartest moves the Borscht crew made that night was starting the show with Piratas, Julian Rodriguez’s film about his beloved boat nearly being stolen by canal pirates.
The film, which includes Julian running down the streets in his underwear with a rifle, an avenging neighbor with a Glock on a water ski, and adorable ducks, is both hysterical and quintessentially Miami. We caught up with Julian thanks to the wonders of GChat to discuss partying on boats, the Second Amendment, and his vision for the Transformers franchise.
New Times: How did this project come to fruition?
Julian Rodriguez: Lucas Leyva and Jonathan David Kane came to my house to shoot the story. They overheard me telling the story once and wanted to shoot it.
In the film you describe that you were disturbed when using the restroom, but still take the time to wipe. What sort of calamity would it take for you to leave the bathroom without wiping?
Oh, did I say I wiped my ass? My mistake, I definitely didn’t. I’m paranoid as hell. If I hear a slight noise outside, I’ll run outside without wiping my ass.
That happens frequently?
Well not that exact incident, but yeah, crazy shit happens to me all the time. My life is like a forever running episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm directed by David Lynch.
So running down the street in your underwear and a rifle is a pretty typical Friday for you.
I grab my rifle for anything, it’s ridiculous. Since I was a kid I’ve had a huge phobia of people breaking into my house, any weird noise or car I see outside my house is a huge threat to me. I constantly live in fear for my life. Eventually I want to live in an apartment on a 48th floor somewhere with no windows.
The two main water vessels in the film are a jet ski and a motor boat, both which are treated as badass modes of transportation. Which is better? And why don’t we see them more in rap music videos?
A boat hands down, you can’t party on a jet ski. It gets lame after a few minutes. As for rappers not using them, that’s a really good question, but then again after “Big Pimpin” I think most rappers just felt like the limit was reached with boating in videos.
Good point. You party on your boat a lot?
Oh yeah! My dad and I always party on the boat, We usually take my friends through the Miami canal systems and get wasted. There’s a bunch of gas stations that are actually right behind canals, so we are able to park behind on the boat and buy beer.
Nice. In the film you seem pretty sure that the pirates who attempted to steal your boat are Cuban. But then you deflect any accusations of stereotyping by explaining that you too are Cuban. Is Piratas actually a subtextual exploration of identity issues for a 21st century male?
Yeah, I would definitely say so. I mean, at the time, I was just talking a lot of shit about Cubans, and Lucas told me I should tell the audience I was Cuban. But four months ago when it happened, it was a lot more than just a funny story, it was a real serious situation.
I felt betrayed, Racist slurs were coming out of my mouth for days, and I couldn’t help it. My own neighbors tried to steal from my family. It’s a canal system that doesn’t lead to the ocean, so basically these motherfuckers live on my canal.
Your neighbor, who stops the pirates with his Glock, comes off as one of the biggest badasses in the history of film. Does he have a history of such behavior? Also what are his thoughts about the film?
He doesn’t even know there’s a movie about this. He is pretty awesome, I remember when I was younger he came to my house with a huge bandage covering his face cause someone hit him in the face with a bat. He also curses a lot.
So you’re a pretty big fan of the Second Amendment? Are there any other amendments you like?
The 5th. Oh and the 13th (IM NOT COOL WITH SLAVERY).
Dig it. How did you meet the Borscht guys?
Well It all started a while ago when I directed a Jose El Rey music video (R.I.P.) and Lucas Leyva came across it, he loved it and we became pals, he even showed a trailer of a short of mine during Borscht 6. This year I became great friends with The Meza Bros and we started working on projects together which got me even closer to the Borscht squad.
The Borscht Squad: Marry, Fuck, Kill. Take your time to think it over.
MARRY. I have mad love for Borscht. But then again I usually want to marry every girl I have a crush on. No, but seriously, Lucas Leyva along with Borscht are a blessing to this city, It’s because of people like him that filmmakers in our city are realizing Miami has just as much potential as anywhere else. My friend Andres Meza told me once “In ten years people are going to refer to this as Miami New Wave, and I want to be a part of that.” and honestly, I couldn’t agree more. And I’d fuck Nick Ducassi; he works for Borscht.
If you were plucked from obscurity to direct the next Transformers movie and set it in Miami, what would the film’s subtitle be? Also, describe any new transformers you would put in the film.
Transformers: Summer Solstice, just cause it sounds cool. And for the sake of Piratas and Miami boat commercialization, I might make a transformer that transforms into a boat, I’d call it ROBERTO.
What is the best film that takes place in Miami?
The Pest. Obviously.
What’s next for Julian Rodriguez? Tell us about upcoming projects, but when I say ‘what’s next?’ I also mean ‘what are you doing later today’, please be thorough with exact locations so that any readers and stalkers can find you.
Well today, I’m going to probably play Mortal Kombat for a while and then I want to catch Fast Five tonight at Sunset Place (still need a date). As for projects, I’m currently working on a violent love story titled Lye, I will probably begin shooting the film this summer. I wrote the story with my best friend Ariel Castro and it will be produced by Andres Meza-Valdes.
Julian Rodriguez can be found online at www.julianyuri.com.
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