Audio By Carbonatix
Hello, Kitty: After eight long years of friendship, I’m ready to tell my bff I’m in love with her. When we first met, it was under the pretense that I wanted to date her, but she shot me down completely. She said I wasn’t her type, she’d rather be friends, etc., etc. At first I was torn up, but then I realized she’d change her mind if she saw what a great friend I could be. Over the years, I’ve always been there for her, as a friend and kind of like a brother. Whenever a guy fucked her over, I was there. If she needed food, money, a ride, I was there. And now I want her to be mine. But I’m not sure how to go about it. Of course, I don’t want her to know I’ve been lying in the bushes, waiting for the right opportunity. So how can I go about seducing her?
Mo Thanfrens
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Hey, Mo: Well, since you’ve already spent eight years buttering her up, all you need to do now is let her in on the swindle. And not by telling her you’ve “been a good friend because…” By now she knows she can lean on you, depend on you, etc. Now it’s up to you to transition from friend to lover — not the easiest task.
Have you gotten any clues she’d be open to more than friendship? Is she in a relationship already? As a friend, you’ll be expected to approach this gingerly. You can’t run up in her face all ramshackle like you did before, because she might not allow you to re-enter her friend zone if this goes badly. When friends become lovers, it’s almost always spontaneous and unexpected. If you haven’t received any signs she’s into being more than friends, wait for one of those moments. There’s nothing more awkward than a bff inching in for an unwanted smooch!
Since you’ve been privy to her failed relationships, you probably know exactly what she likes. But avoid using those tactics to get her. Do what she likes, but do it in a way that’s unique to you and doesn’t seem forced. Most important, if you sense her discomfort, back off. She rejected you once, so you’re actually overstepping your boundaries by trying again. If you had spent only six months in the friend zone, I’d be compelled to call you a creep, but you’ve put in the kind of work that makes me think you’re actually committed to making this girl see what a great guy you could be for her. So take it easy and get “seducing her” out of your head. You tried and failed at that once already. Meow.
Got a question? Email kitty@miaminewtimes.com, or visit blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/magic_city_kitty
