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When you think, What am I doing this Halloween?, the first thing that comes to mind is a synthetic Frankenstein vagina, right?! No? Anyone?
Male sex toy company Fleshlight launched a line appropriately creepy for the spookiest of holidays. Their Fleshlight Freaks feature four categories of design and eight haunting anatomical members.
Now, instead of just deciding what kind of sexy nurse you’re gonna dress as (mean or nice), you also have to figure out if you really want to purchase your True Blood-obsessed boyfriend that crimson dildo he’ll absolutely love.
There’s the Cyborg model for fans of The X-Files, which you have to visit the site to see. Click on for the three other cringe-worthy Halloween design sex toys.
1. The Drac
The Drac woman parts are sort of cute. Look at those delicate bat wings.
It’s almost like it’s a, well, it’s a vampire vag. The color of that
male member brings more mixed feelings. It’s reminiscent of both blood
(gross) and a Jolly Rancher (cool!).
2. The Frank
We suppose there’s some folks out there jerking it to Frankenstein. The
Frank was created especially for those weirdos. A torn-up old crotch
doesn’t turn everyone one, but these are special for the holiday. We’re loving
the little knob on that big green knob up there.3. The Zombie
Nothing says sexy like decay! Well, actually, everything says sexy more than decay, but zombies are in
right now. The Zombie model will probably be Fleshlight’s best seller
this year despite the fact that it is the least sexiest of the group.
The dildo looks swabbed in dirty rags. Hold our hair as we vomit,
please.
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