Audio By Carbonatix
Here in the state of Florida, any consumer use of low-explosive devices (i.e. roman candles, firecrackers, skyrockets, etc.) is a misdemeanor punishable by one year in jail. Yet isn’t there something patently un-American about laws designed to destroy fun? Indeed. And so, as you prepare a bonanza celebration in honor of the USA’s independence from those dastardly British, please honor our nation’s strange and primitive holiday tradition of blowing stuff up. It’s almost a patriotic duty.
Sure, if you’re some enviro-geek worried about catastrophic bodily injury or the release of toxic compounds into the public water supply, stay home. But the rest of us will just stick with the safe stuff. This Sunday at 9 p.m., let the certified experts handle the pyrotechnic display when America’s Birthday Bash blows up at Bayfront Park. The cops will be happy. No one will lose their limbs. And the Founding Fathers will gaze admiringly upon our celebratory explosions from their imperial throne in heaven. The fun is free.
Sun., July 4, 9 p.m., 2010
