Audio By Carbonatix
So, Vh1 didn’t give us what we wanted this holiday season. How could they not air a new episode of Basketball Wives during Christmas weekend? They know very well we just spent the last few days with our insane families. It’s just plain mean. We need our fix, Okay? So in the spirit of the holidays and our sadness for only catching a rerun on Sunday night, we started imagining what Christmas was like for these wives and quasi wives. Here are some items we hope Santa left for them under the tree.
Shaunie O’Neal: As she has a hot new man in her life, we
assume Shaunie is Tajazzling night and day to keep things hot in the
bedroom. Don’t know what were talking about? Oh, God. Watch here:
Evelyn Lozada: This Puerto Rican princess was recently
wifeyed up by footballer Chad Ochocino. And bad news for her: Yesterday he
announced that he wants to play for Cincinnati for as long as
possible. Let’s hope old Saint Nick brought a nice, warm coat for Ms. Lozada as she will be calling the Midwest home very soon.
Jennifer Williams: From what we have seen this season on
Basketball Wives, shit isn’t going well for Jennifer and hubby
Eric. We’re hoping she received a few things this holiday season:
perhaps a book on How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You or maybe a boyfriend pillow for
those lonely nights he is apparently out cheating.
Suzie Ketcham: Evelyn is constantly threatening Suzie because she was caught gossiping about their Vegas trip. So we hope Santa gifted her some self defense classes. Or considering the fact that most of
these threats came in the form of a text message, we hope that an
unlimited phone plan was also under the tree.
Tami Roman: All this bitch wants from Santa is a child support check. Yep, that’s it.
Royce Reed: Thanks to her baby daddy Dwight Howard, this woman has almost as much drama in
her real life than she does in the show. We assume she got a gift
certificate to WhoCanISue.com. Or maybe a dance lesson from Arthur
Murray. As we all know, her dancing could use some classing up:
