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That blindfolded chick holding the scales just made it rain justice on Rumeal Robinson. The former University of Michigan basketball hero and NBA journeyman– whose addiction to strip clubs was first exposed by this blog— has been convicted in Iowa federal court of fraud. The Aventura resident was indicted for spending an illegally-secured $700,000 business loan on sportscars, designer clothing, jewelry, furniture, and our favorite– a $10,000 machine gun he purchased in Little Havana.
Welcome to South Florida’s Blown Fortune Hall of Fame, Rumeal. Have a Cuban cigar. It’s crowded in here, we know.
This flash-is-everything region is Mecca for swindlers, conmen, addicts, hard-luck cases, and plain ol’ out-of-control ballers. Plus: We grow our own! Let’s explore the roster of South Florida’s least fiscally responsible.
Bernie Kosar
South Florida home: Weston
Fortune Blown: At least $20 million in NFL salary and post-football business earnings.
Spectacular Fashion Index: 8/10
Details: After upwards of $15 million lost in terrible investments and “between $4 and $5 million” lost in a divorce, Kosar committed bankruptcy last year. Read Dan le Batard’s tremendous profile if you want to picture the former gridiron God padding around his empty mansion, holding his teeth in a cup.
Rumeal Robinson
South Florida home: Aventura
Fortune Blown: Upwards of $5 Million in NBA salary.
Spectacular Fashion Index: 8.5/10
Details: Robinson committed bankruptcy while still in the NBA, which may have been a first. He spent $20,000 a night at strip clubs, according to his adopted brother. Than he’d have a group of the exotic dancers come back to his place, “get buck-naked, and clean his house for $500 or $1,000 each.” He also gave his girlfriend, a former Booby Trap stripper, a $150,000-a-year executive position in his sham company. He even scammed his own adopted mother out of her house.
R. Allen Stanford
South Florida home: Coral Gables
Fortune Blown: $8 billion in investors’ cash into his alleged Ponzi scheme.
Spectacular Fashion Index: 8.5/10
Details: The disgraced knight kept a harem of mistresses, owned an island in Antigua, and installed throne toilets– literally– in his English-style manse. He also spent at least $20 million trying to spark interest in cricket in Antigua.
Scott Storch
South Florida home: Palm Island, Miami Beach
Fortune Blown: An estimated $70 million net worth stemming from his music production.
Spectacular Fashion Index: 9/10
Details: There was the $20 million yacht that he ended up pawning for $600,000. The 13-plus luxury and exotic cars, including a $1.7 million Bugatti Veyron. The $10 million Palm Island mansion. The millions in diamonds and vehicles he bought for girlfriends Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Kim Kardashian. Oh yeah, and all those Scarface-esque mounds of cocaine. Meanwhile, his mother told New Times, he abandoned her in near-poverty. Rule number one of being a South Florida scumbag: Screw your mom over.
Bernie Madoff
South Florida home: Palm Beach
Fortune Blown: $50 billion in investors’ cash, much of it from the Palm Beach country club set, into his definitely-more-than-alleged Ponzi scheme.
Spectacular Fashion Index: 9.5/10
Details: Um, he’s Bernie Madoff. Every time he farts, an elderly couple in Boca loses their savings.
