Combine Talk: Jerry’s Got a Hankerin!

I’ve made no secret about how much I love Darren McFadden. If I were a GM, I’d make him the guy to get. But, alas, I am just a lowly blogger. Tear.

Yesterday during the combine, McFadden justified my man-crush for him when he ran an unofficial 4.27 40-yard dash. The official time was 4.33. That’s faster than Adrian Peterson’s combine time. That’s blaszing fast. That’s stupid fast. That’s ludicrous fast.

During the combine wrap-up yesterday, Adam Schefter resuscitated the old Dallas trading with Miami rumors, as he is wont to do. As we all know, rubber-faced Jerry Jones is enamored with McFadden. Schefter says the Fins and Dallas have been in talks to swap first round picks. And Jerry, being the crazy old coot that he is, could be throwing in RB Marion Barber for good measure. Holy and fuck.

If I was Jerry Jones, I’d make this trade. And here’s why: Number one, McFadden’s stock is only going to grow in the coming weeks and now there’s a report (very last sentence in this article) that says the Falcons are beginning to feel the McFadden itch. And number two, because I love the Miami Dolphins. I am persuasive.

Look you crazy old rubber-faced assbag, your Cowboys are a team that’s on the cusp. They’ve got a great offensive line, a young up-and-coming defense, a stellar quarterback, a big-play receiver, a great complimentary receiver and now… Zach Thomas! You are one big-time play maker away from becoming the best team in the NFC. McFadden is that player. The kid’s a stud (and quite literally from what I’ve read). He’s versatile, dangerous and will make your offense so unstoppable, your head will explode and the pieces of your face will bounce all over the room like hundreds of those super-balls you get for 25 cents in a gumball machine at the grocery store.

Romo/Owens/McFadden. I smell The New Triplets! And they smell delicious.

C’mon, Jerry. Let’s make a deal! — Chris Joseph

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