Audio By Carbonatix
Yes, Soulja Boy showed off his pretty-boy bone on Tumblr. But, uh, it was an “accident.”
The platinum-selling, dance-craze-starting, go-dumb rapper posted a picture of his swaggy weiner the other day, and Perez Hilton snagged an NSFW version before it was deleted.
Because we know you’re as perverse and voyeuristic as Crossfade, we’ve got the goods down below. Plus, five fun-filled ways to toy with Soulja’s jank.
See also:
–Rihanna Naked on Unapologetic Cover: Five Albums With Boobs, Butts, and Baby Penises
–Twelve Songs About Blowjobs! (NSFW)
–Ten Best Songs About Masturbation
–Top Ten Songs About Sex in Public
Crank That
Obvi, the most tried and true way is to “crank that” Soulja Boy. You can grab it and crank it yourself. Or watch him, yankin’ and crankin’ his own jank for extra-pervy goodness. But you have to let him Superman you at the end.
Kiss It Thru the Phone
Sexting is really big with the swag generation. And since it’s a picture and all, kissing that D through the phone screen might be the only way most 21st-century types can get a piece.
Like Goku
Get your sexy swag over 9,000 and go super saiyan all over these dragon balls.
Put it in Your Booty Meat
Soulja is admittedly your “Ace Boon Coon,” and he just wants to see you shake your booty meat before he pokes that shit like his name was Zuckerberg. He let you see what he’s working with, now let him see what you got.
Get Silly
But mostly, if you want to get with Soulja Boy and his massive social media dong, you should just come at him as high and bizarre as humanly possible. This bruh loves to get weird, obvi. Maybe you should put on a horse mask and see where that gets you.
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