Sports

How the Heck Do the Dolphins Have a Winning Record Now?

Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest football team. For one half. In Atlanta. On October 15, 2017, at least. Hey, when you're a Dolphins fan, you celebrate the small victories along the way. You never know when the next one will come along.
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Miami has the Dolphins, the greatest football team. For one half. In Atlanta. On October 15, 2017, at least. Hey, when you’re a Dolphins fan, you celebrate the small victories along the way. You never know when the next one will come along.

The Dolphins made history in the first half this past Sunday, doing something no NFL team has done in 13 seasons. They became the first team without an offensive touchdown in the first half of its first five games since the 2004 Browns. Thirty minutes of football, zero points. By halftime, they trailed the Falcons 17-0.

Here we go again, right? Wrong!

The Dolphins came out of the locker room and played a nearly perfect second half behind a rumbling Jay Ajayi (who ended up tearing through 130 yards), a suddenly competent Jay Cutler (who threw two second-half touchdown passes), and a defensive line that blew up anything the Atlanta Falcons tried to do after the intermission.

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With the Fins suddenly leading 20-17 with just over 40 seconds left, the Falcons drove deep into Dolphins territory, in prime position to send the game into overtime or, worse, crush Miami’s hopes and dreams harder than Chris Foerster crushed lines of cocaine off his office desk.

Enter Dolphins Pro Bowl safety Reshad Jones. Game. Over. Comeback complete. Dolphins move to 3-2, somehow.

After the play, Jones — who went to  Booker T. Washington High School in Georgia and played collegiately for the Georgia Bulldogs — did his best Dion Waiters impression, declaring Atlanta “his city.”

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In case you forgot how Waiters’ version went down, here’s a reminder of how he claimed ownership of Miami after his game-winning shot against the Golden State Warriors in January:

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Of course, before there was Waiters, there was Dwyane Wade in 2009 sinking a legendary game-winning crazy running three-pointer at the buzzer to beat the Chicago Bulls. Wade only claimed ownership of the building he was in, though. That’s a far more realistic boast, to be honest.

That’ll do, Reshad. That’ll do. The Dolphins are now 3-2 and in second place in the AFC East. That sentence is a completely true thing that is not #FakeNews. Don’t question it. Just let it take over your body, and ride the wave of positive emotions all the way through Monday.

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