Certain Death and Vodka

Ever since Metrorail finally became linked to the airport last year, there has been less of a pressing need for Miamians to build our own flying machines. But old habits die hard — often by plummeting off a 30-foot tower into the water — so this Saturday the Red Bull Flugtag returns to Bayfront Park (301 Biscayne Blvd., Miami). Flugtag participants build silly-looking man-powered flying machines and then crash them to the delight of crazed fans hopping about in a pink slurry of Red Bull and ground-up molars. For the traditionalists who like getting into smashups only by driving and texting/twerking/mascara-ing, go back to your coffee and amphetamines at the old-folks home. This is Flugtag! Miami’s event draws teams from around the Southeast, with about a half-dozen local groups among those not quite thinking this thing through. This year’s local entrants include a UM team dressed as crash test dummies, a pirate ship, and Cubans riding a Kennedy-era rocket. Even if that doesn’t seem like your cup of syrupy freak juice, it’s still way better than 5-Hour Energy’s competing event, in which people tap their feet in their offices and get headaches.
Sat., Sept. 21, noon, 2013