Audio By Carbonatix
Hear the one about those Time-Life commercials coming to life? Well, here it is: Vince Neil’s Motley Cruise, as disgusting, wrinkled, and leather-pants-clad as they come. If you’re not getting a case of the heebie-jeebies just yet, you will. Or hell, maybe you’re into this — I’m not one to judge.
But on the flip side, Vince Neil hasn’t been hosting commercials or VH1 best-of crap, has he? Nah, Neil has been keeping busy with Mötley Crüe, his solo music efforts, tequila, jewelry designs — he even recently opened a bar in West Palm Beach called Dr. Feelgood’s. It’s all pretty savvy for a dude who wears more makeup than my mother. His latest venture takes to the seas, joining what has increasingly become a bizarre South Florida trend: the rock and roll revue cruise.
So, calling in buddies from the olden days, you’ll have the hook-laden anthemic antics of Ratt, the Sebastian Bach-less Skid Row, and the glammy-glam of Las Vegas’s bastard child Slaughter. Throw in Johnny-come-latelies Endeverafter and Lynam to make it nice for the kids (who’ll undoubtedly be dragged along by the parentals), and you have yourself a cruise.
Well, jokes aside, maybe you’ve read the official Mötley Crüe biography, The Dirt. If you have, you know that Vince Neil the man/the brand does make well on one promise: excessive hedonism. (Maybe the younger-ish punk rocker in me wants to dip this a little in disdain and rebellion, but I’ll give the Devil his due.) While I can’t make any promises on what Skid Row can do without Bach, I’m pretty sure that sticking to the known hits will please. Ratt has its four platinum albums to rock the week away, and Slaughter has done somewhat well since original lead guitarist Tim Kelly’s passing in 1998.
As far as relative newcomers Lynam and Endeverafter are concerned, they were hired for a reason, and I’m pretty sure they’ll keep up with the older guys as long as they don’t try to match their partying skills. Kids, one piece of advice: Keep an eye on Mom. Dad will thank you for it. (But make sure he leaves his leather at home. We are in the subtropics, you know? Not everything flies on international waters.)
