Sexy Beasts

Some animals are real freaks in the sack. Take bottlenose dolphins. They like to get it on — real nasty-like — in large, same-sex orgies and marathon coitus sessions that have nothing to do with making baby dolphins. They do it for pleasure, the pervs. And they’re not even as horny as your average bonobo or pygmy chimp. Those nymphomaniacs like it all kinds of ways: heterosexual, homosexual, manual (hand jobs), and, of course, oral. Frankly, getting laid is the central preoccupation of most animals’ lives. In other words, they’re just as desperate and kinky as the rest of us.
Ron Magill, communications director at Zoo Miami, knows this better than most. He’s been watching animal porn for years — he’s practically a Mr. Skin of the animal kingdom. And he’s ready to show and tell you all about the best and worst lovers at a Sex and the Animals presentation at Pinecrest Gardens this Saturday at 7 p.m. It will be funny, informative, and guaranteed to get you in the mood for a rollicking good time on Valentine’s Day. We’re not sure if that’s wrong, because it feels so right. As you might expect, the presentation is for those ages 21 and over.

Sat., Feb. 12, 7 p.m., 2011