Audio By Carbonatix
Hello, Kitty: I’m 28 years old and have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for close to three years. We’ve yet to shack up but have definitely been talking about marriage a lot lately. I would describe my feelings toward him as “love.” But I’d also call them “bored.” I’m guessing this is normal, but I don’t see how I can consider a lifetime with this guy when things between us are already so extremely far from exciting. We used to get it on from the bedroom to the kitchen. Now we seem to be just going through the motions and I’m losing my mind! Truth is, I have some ideas on how we can spice up our love life. But I’m afraid to approach him. He might think I’ve been with someone else. How can I introduce a breath of fresh air without making him think I’m trying to change “us” or that somehow I’ve changed through some outside lovin’?
Frethus Pussee
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Hey, Frethus: Your problem is hardly a problem – for some it’s a lifestyle. People get comfortable in relationships, get tired of turning blue-ribbon tricks in the bedroom, and things become “normal.” Tell your guy what’s up. First, don’t worry about him thinking some other guy has taught you how to do the whirl-a-twirl. But do be careful when pulling new tricks out of your bag — this can totally be a red flag for cheating. If you tell your guy things are becoming monotonous (and not in those words), he just might agree. Then, together, you’ll make changes/additions to your love life. Yes, it might sting a little for him to hear he’s boring you. But if you’ve been together for three years, you’ve likely cultivated the type of relationship that welcomes communication. Trust me, if his stroke is putting you to sleep, he’d rather know and be a little hurt than find out some other way — i.e., finding your nudie profile on onlinebootycall.com. Once you’ve initiated this potentially sticky conversation, choose your words carefully so you don’t put all the blame on him. He should feel as if he’s being approached, not attacked. If you use positive words such as heighten, improve, and additional — he’ll feel like you two are taking things to the next level. If you tell him you’re bored, he’ll head for Dave & Buster’s to play Super Mario Kart.
Flip side: Some relationships aren’t meant to last forever. The fact that the fireworks have stopped might mean your love affair has run its course. If it’s worth salvaging, work on it. If not, say bye-bye to Mr. Monotony. Meow.
Got a question? Email kitty@miaminewtimes.com, or visit blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/magic_city_kitty.
