Maybe you've seen the meme floating around Facebook or Instagram, the one that says, "Cuban coffee is the reason that crystal meth hasn't taken off in Miami." And there's a hint of truth in it. Compared to the rest of the state (if not country), Miami-Dade doesn't have a huge meth problem.
So you know that if there was a big arrest in Miami-Dade, it would undoubtedly be weird. This one doesn't disappoint.
According to the Drug Enforcement Administration, a recently arrested Miami man had five kilograms of methamphetamine disguised as candy. The sweets were packaged to be stuffed in a piñata, to be exact. However, the DEA quickly discovered that the man wasn't the source of the cleverly disguised meth. He told agents that he had gone to Bradenton, Florida, to get it..
The Miami man gave the agents the general block of his supplier, but not the address. This started a joint investigation by the DEA, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the Manatee County Sheriff's Office that eventually lead to 53-year-old Jesus Casteyano.
Agents went to investigate his house on Tuesday and found Casteyano, his wife, and their two children, a six-year-old and a one-year-old, in a bedroom.
In a closet in that bedroom, they also found a storage container with three bags of candy weighing a total of 19 pounds.
Casteyano's wife said that originally there had been ten bags in the container. She also said that her husband had instructed her to make sure that their children not eat the candy. (Solid advice.)
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Hiding meth in piñata candy does have a certain poetic justice. It doesn't matter whether you put it in a human or a piñata. Both will surely get whacked out.
Casteyano admitted that the meth candy was his. But he explained one more step was needed to turn the substance hidden in the candy wrappers into useable meth.
He was arrested on charges of conspiracy to possess with the intent to distribute and distribution of 500 grams or more of methamphetamine. He could face up to ten years in prison.