The Ten Most Miami Things About HBO's Ballers
HBO's Ballers is so Miami.
HBO has renewed Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's
Let's not pretend that much of the Miami you see in Ballers doesn't exist (because it totally does), but the show tends to turn up the volume a bit.
Here are ten Miami stereotypes HBO's Ballers has made sure to hit on before even the midway point in its freshman season. None of these will shock you, because Miami gonna Miami.
Cocaine. Just cocaine. Because, of course, cocaine.
It wouldn't be a show filmed in Miami if there wasn't a little cocaine use involved; at this point, we just gotta own this one. Thanks a lot, Scarface.
Old dudes partying with chicks way too hot for them.
For a variety of reasons —
many most all of which involve money — Miami is one of the world leaders in sugar daddies. Don't try to understand it, it's not that difficult to figure out. Seriously, stop staring.
Ridiculously extravagant and expensive brunches.
For all the
Expensive sports cars zooming around luxurious neighborhoods.
You never see a Toyota Corolla in Ballers, which is statistically impossible because everyone in Florida has at some point in their lives owned a Toyota Corolla. Even Dexter had an awesome SUV that was somehow always super clean even though he was constantly stuffing chopped up dead people inside of it.
Athletes getting in trouble on South Beach.
Shocker here! Rich athletes doing stupid things on South Beach — it's a Miami tradition. An athlete getting arrested in Miami is almost like a student getting a parking ticket in college; it's either happened to you, or it's about to happen to you. Few escape destiny.
Mansion parties full of hot chicks and the inevitable one guy that looks like Pitbull.
About seven of us have been to these
There is a casino on every corner of South Florida in 2015, stop it HBO. Look at the people in this picture, does this strike you as a crowd that would break out in a game of dice? Is it even called dice? I'm assuming rolling a seven is good. See, we don't even know how to play, HBO!
Strip club scenes filled with strobe lights.
Hollywood makes it seem as though it's physically impossible for you not to visit a strip club while in Miami.
Miami Intracoastal helicopter shots.
Token shot of the Intracoastal shot via helicopter, or in 2015, a drone. These shots normally build up to the sandy turquoise beach shots that come later in the open.
Naked hot chick still sleeping when guy wakes up even though she has no covers.
It's true, America, every man in Miami wakes up to a smoking hot naked model that has no need for sheets. You should move here and get one!
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