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National Features >

  • Broward-Palm Beach New Times

    Sexual Healing

    For Florida's sole remaining sex surrogate, love is a many splintered thing.

    By Michael J. Mooney

  • City Pages

    Your Friendly Neighborhood War Profiteer

    It's not just giant companies cashing in on America's defense industry.

    By Jeff Severns Guntzel

  • The Pitch

    Supersizing Sonic

    How a throwaway idea at the Barkley ad agency became the "Sonic Guys."

    By Justin Kendall

  • Houston Press

    Temples of Tex-Mex

    A diner's guide to Texas's oldest Mexican restaurants.

    By Robb Walsh

Free, Glorious Free

What better way to crash your diet than with ice cream?

By John Linn

Published on April 24, 2008

It’s 2 a.m. Saturday morning. You’re drunk, as usual. Then comes a gurgle in your belly. It starts out low and bass-heavy, like far-away thunder, before building into a crescendo of crackling, splooshing, and swirling noise. It’s the onset of the munchies, and a particularly vicious case at that. Luckily you thought ahead, you intrepid substance abuser, you. The freezer is fully stocked: One carton of Chunky Monkey. A half container of Half Baked (hey, someone got into it!). And — the pièce de résistance — two untouched pints of Phish Food. As you plop back onto the couch, with a spoon in one hand and a now-sticky carton in the other, you feel proud knowing that not only does your ice cream of choice taste fucking delicious, it’s also a responsible decision.

Responsible? For reals! That’s the great thing about Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream: It’s a progressive company that strives to minimize waste, use sustainable food sources, and create fair employment opportunities for all of its workers. And as of today, B&J’s has been doing it their way for 30 years. Sweet — a birthday! You don’t even have to buy a gift; they’ll give you one. Just head out to your nearest Ben & Jerry’s Scoop Shop (find participating locations at www.benjerry.com) and ask for your free ice-cream cone! Again: All day today, one scoop, any flavor, on a cone, for free. How’s that for a progressive company? Too bad you can’t live solely on ice cream. (Well ...)
Tue., April 29, 2008