Top Ten Reasons

You should make Miami the permanent home of the FTAA secretariat

 10. You can visit your country's money in our Brickell Avenue banks.

9. You already own a condo here, your kids are enrolled in our private schools, and your wife shops at Bal Harbour.

8. Tickets to Sabado Gigante.

7. In exchange for free lunch at the Little Havana Activities and Nutrition Center, our viejos will flood radio call-in shows, swing elections, and train as many right-wing commandos as you need.

6. Our cafeterías will remind you of home.

5. Miami's income gap may not be as wide as your country's, but still we're proud to be America's Poorest City.

4. The Port of Miami hasn't had a major corruption scandal in several years. At the airport it's been at least two weeks.

3. All the choice escorts from your country are already here, promoting the Flesh Trade Area of the Americas.

2. Our automatic-teller machines almost always pay out the dollar amount you request.

1. And the number-one reason: Miami's skilled workforce and high-tech business infrastructure. Seriously, though, the weather's great in January.

 
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