By Chuck Strouse
By Scott Fishman
By Terrence McCoy
By Ryan Yousefi
By Ciara LaVelle, Kat Bein, Carolina Del Busto, and Liz Tracy
By Pepe Billete
By Ryan Yousefi
By Kyle Swenson
Carl "Kilmo" Pacillo is off to New Yawk, as is Peter Betan. The former has split from most of the members of the Killers and is teaming with some new players to tour the Northeast. The latter has finished up his new album and is off to play some hot Manhattan gigs and meet with some biz bigshots before returning home. Wish 'em both well.
Volunteer talent is needed for PSA's on behalf of Citizens Against Pet Overpopulation. Eight million cats and dogs are put to death every year because human beings are such a shit species. Yes, kittens die on Christmas. Chuck Avery and Lisa Hutt are contributing their production abilities to fight this holocaust, and, if you have the skill, your help is needed. Send your acting or voice-over qualifications to 7740 NE 50 St., #504, Lauderhill, FL 33351.
Butthorn of the week: Metrobus. The jitneys are gone in protest, and we're left with the incompetence of Dade County. For example, the Number 11 bus that runs straight down Flagler Street. The 11 loops onto Biscayne and stops on Third Street. Depending on the driver, it then stops right across from my office, or right next to my office, or a block away from my office, or a few blocks from my office. All is whimsy. But the other day the 11 stopped a block short of Biscayne and the driver ordered all passengers off.
Customer: "Don't you go to Biscayne and turn left?"
Driver: "This is the last stop."
Customer: "When did the route change?"
Driver: "Here's a transfer."
Customer: "But where are you going, why can't you take me to Third Street? What the heck's going on with you clowns?"
The emptied bus then drove on to Biscayne and turned left.
The media circus: L.A. publicist Phyllis Pollack, with whom I've enjoyed dozens of lengthy conversations about her friend Ice-T, wants me to clarify something I wrote in a recent "On the Beat" article: That she has never represented Ice-T on an official performer-flack basis.
Pet corner: From the irony-enigma-riddle file: The Peterson Foundation is looking to give away a quarter of a million dollars to IRS-qualified animal protection organizations in Florida. The late Folke Peterson, whose foundation is giving away a million bucks this year, was a dairyman. The reasoning behind his will was that he made his fortune off animals, so animals should benefit from his fortune. The irony hardly ends there, however. While giving $250,000 to Broward's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the Foundation simultaneously grants the same amount to the University of Miami, a notoriously cruel torturer of animals. Oh well. Requests for application forms should be sent to Trustees of the Folke H. Peterson Charitable Foundation, c/o Sun Bank/South Florida, N.A. Trust Department, PO Box 14728, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33302, attention Howard L. Usher.
Greg Brown lyric of the week: From One More Goodnight Kiss: "The big picture's insane/The whole country's on cocaine/And the idiots still ask/Why it's come to this.