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Think about all those times you were set to dye your pet rabbits pink and blue because it would be hilarious and great, only to look up the Florida state statutes and realize, “No! Dyeing bunnies is illegal in Florida, dammit!” Those dark days, thank God, may soon be over.
The Florida House advanced a bill yesterday to Gov. Rick Scott that includes a provision making it legal to dye rabbits and chickens. Why? Because Fort Lauderdale Sen. Ellyn Bogdanoff is sick and tired of letting stupid animals decide if they want to be pink or not.
“I’ve never asked my poodle if he wanted a haircut,” Bogdanoff argued persuasively.
Bogdanoff’s amendment negating a 50-year-old anti-bunny, chicken and duck dyeing law snuck its way into HB 1197, an ag bill mostly concerned with rules on raising honeybees.
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The senator — who, between backing Miami casinos and trying to make it easier to push back Dade’s Urban Development Boundary, is having quite the busy session in Tallahassee — argued that the original law was too considerate of animals who wouldn’t care what color they are.
“We neuter dogs without their permission,” Bogdanoff said according to the Palm Beach Post.
The Democrats Senate Leader Nan Rich tried to kill the amendment with claims that dye-jobs are “animal cruelty.”
“This is not about grooming poodles,” she said. “This is a way of ensuring that we don’t have a lot of little adorable ducks, rabbits and chickens that are given away at Easter time and look so cute and then two or three months later nobody wants them.”
Rich’s colleagues were not moved. The amendment stayed, the bill is headed to Scott and your pet rabbit should prepare for more fabulous looks in days to come.
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