If you've seen the 2004 film Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, then you know the five D's of dodgeball: dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge. You know that if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. And you know damn near every "balls" pun you can make about the sport.
But can you dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge a wrench while reciting those puns in an arena of trampolines?
That's what you'll have to do to qualify for the 2013 Ultimate Dodgeball Championship.
On August 4, Sky Zone Miami will host one of 35 qualifying competitions across the country for the championship tournament in Las Vegas. This isn't your average gym-class dodgeball -- it's played at Sky Zone locations, in arenas with trampolines covering the floors and rising at angles halfway up the walls.
Think of that early scene where the Average Joe's team battles the Girl Scouts, but imagine everyone jumping in the air like superheroes, and that's pretty much the idea.
If your team beats the rest, you'll advance to the Las Vegas championship, with a chance to win as much as $20,000 for your team. (It's significantly less than the $50,000 the team wins in the movie, but you can always pull a La Fleur and bet it all on your team dominating the competition.) The Las Vegas games will be filmed and shown across the Fox Sports Network, so have your best goofy uniforms and catchphrases ready.
Of course, you have to make it past the Miami qualifier first. So gather your team of five together (all participants must be age 16 or older), start practicing, and register at skyzone.com/ultimatedodgeball.
Follow Ciara LaVelle on Twitter @ciaralavelle.