Mayor Luther Campbell would tax strippers for the public good

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke — who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez — explains his plan to tax strippers for the public good.

On the campaign trail, voters and radio show hosts have been telling me that exotic dancers are not going to like me. They aren't going to vote for Luther Campbell because of my proposal to tax them. That is just flat wrong. Strippers love Luke. Pretty soon, now that voters have booted Carlos Alvarez, everyone is going to cast their ballots for yours truly.

When I move into that big office in county hall, I'm not going to repeat Texas's mistakes back in 2007. There, state legislators approved a $5 tax for each customer who entered a strip club. A Texas judge and a state appeals court struck down that law as unconstitutional. So, fellas, relax. It's not gonna cost you more to get a lap dance — unless a stripper is running game on you.

What I'm proposing is actually done in other major metropolitan areas. Take Atlanta. The city charges exotic dancers $350 for a permit to perform. In Houston, the city just raised its license fee for a new "gentlemen's club" dancer from $60 to $250. In some cities, these licenses have produced millions of dollars in annual revenue. And considering the hole that Alvarez dug for us, this could be a big plus.

Local police conduct background checks on female entertainers. That's a good thing.

If a stripper makes five or even six figures a year — and some do — a few hundred bucks to register with the state like a real estate agent or a nurse is a wise investment. For one, cities could keep underage girls out of the industry. For another, they could actually take care of their people.

Miami could be the first wave in a stripper tsunami. Exotic dancers from across the nation come here to get naked. We have more strip clubs than anywhere in the United States. We're home to the two largest strip clubs in the country — Tootsie's Cabaret and King of Diamonds — where P. Diddy and Rick Ross recently made $1 million rain on the dancers.

And just to make sure folks don't say I'm discriminating against women, I'm proposing male strippers pay for licenses too. In the end, the money would be used for much-needed services such as child care and after-school programs to help single moms — and single dads — raise their kids right.

 
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36 comments
Caramel Queen
Caramel Queen

I will not be voting for Luke and I am stipper and will also be telling all my friends his new idea just like a peon who just made it in America now wants to punish the very thing that help make him rich.

zhenglishu
zhenglishu

Finally (48 hours) time limit to buy.

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Buy addresses---- tntn.usTips (48 hours after the special product is invalid)

Melato13
Melato13

Tax them and use the Tax money to fix them so they can't have babies. That will save a ton of Tax money on Welfare.

Lisa Young
Lisa Young

I say go head luke let them pay for popping that c@#$%&*! You got them in all ways now you're doing it as a political figure, you are too much!!! We're all behind you cuz! And when you make it to the top, remember what you said and for what cause you "SUPPOSE" to represent ok because most people tend to forget...THE CHILDREN, TEACHERS, OLD FOLKS.

Ambitionality500
Ambitionality500

Fuck a goddamn stripper bitch what the fuck are you going to do for the citizens of Miami.. WE'RE SUFFERING.. this is not the time to be talkin about no stupid assed out strippers.

Carolann
Carolann

Palm Beach County has a fee and a "performer" must be registered and present their card to "work." Problem is... Miami-Dade county can't manage money. We need a new fucking animal shelter ... we have for years. Luke, if you will use that money to build an animal shelter - then you have my vote and strippers can contribute in a productive way ... probably a first for the vast majority of them....

Pam V
Pam V

Wow Luke... I think you just sparked my interest in a major way. Let's see how the rest of your plans go.

Sonialucas91
Sonialucas91

LUKE FOR MAYOR, these strippers need to be tax. why the hell should they work tax free, they need to pay taxes just like eveyone else.You guys are idiots paying for pussy out of your checks that tax is being taking out of to a stripper that pays no tax. ARE YOU SERIOUS...

Matthew Earl
Matthew Earl

Think of it this way people. If you are sick and tired of the self-serving idiots that currently run Miami-Dade then you need to vote for this guy. How much longer can you put up with the bullsh!t? Its been a trend now in Miami going on for decades and hasn't the sh!t hit the fan yet? The sh!t hit the fan and its all over the place. It needs to be cleaned up.

Matthew Earl
Matthew Earl

Lets just hope there are enough strippers/club goers in Miami that like Luke. The strippers and club goers need to outnumber the oppressive Cubans at the poll. Doubt that happens though.

Andre_Johnson83
Andre_Johnson83

Think about it guys when you tax the strippers like in Atlanta, You also create an escorts license now prostitution is legal with an escort licence. And you don't have to worry about get busted in a reverse sting. Like you all do when yo go on Biscayne and 79th to buy pussy . You know all I ever seen getting busted in reverse stings is white guys. You need Uncle Luk, don't hate appreciate...lol... You should be thanking Uncle Lukem, he is helpinig to save your marriage and your job.... you tricks.

Idiots Rule
Idiots Rule

This stupid idea shows Luther Campbell shooting himself in the foot. Typical. No one can take Jim seriously.

Dadainc1
Dadainc1

I Will Support Uncle Luke For Miami Dade Mayor Due To The Fact He Still Dare To Dream After Living His Dreams. The Political Arena Is Much Like A Strip Club; It Thrives On Money & Polls Which Should Make Him The Front Runner In This Mayoral Election…

Billy Ray Sumbich
Billy Ray Sumbich

[sarcasm alert on]

Look at the bright side.If you spend a bundle trying to get elected and fail, which is very likely, you will have a hell of a tax write off for 2011 to offset the millions you make writing for the Miami New Times.

[sarcasm alert off]

Pala
Pala

mr luke can we have a recall vote on you before you are even elected??

Carloslcruz56
Carloslcruz56

Uncle "Poop", there was another shooting in Overtown this morning. One of your homies shot up two other of your homies where kids were going to school. No white people involved. No Po Po's involved. If you want to convince this community that you are for real, concentrate on the real issues. Violence, drugs, gangs. tackle the big running back. Anyone can take down a 175 pound receiver. Come on Poop, tell us how you will change the situation in OT and LC. Dont tell us how youre going to tax strippers and blah blah blah. Come on Poop!!! take on the drug gangs!!! Or are you afraid of the consequences?? Afraid of the homies?? Afraid for your life??

Usgovfail
Usgovfail

Good, I hope people all across the country wake up to the amount of taxes that are bing forced upon citizens because at the end of the day, the money doesn't go to children for their education, it goes to illegal aliens and corrupt government so they can drive overhyped mercedes benzs and live in 5000+ sq/ft houses that they don't need. When enough people in this nation start to feel the strain that the governments are placing upon us then maybe they will take up arms against these tyrannts.

Noway
Noway

What a joke you are!!!Deciphering you only shows you are full of an empty basket of ideas.You are the laughingstock of South Florida. You definitely need to stay off drugs, cuz if you think you will be elected into office YOU ARE DELUSIONAL!!!!!!Naked asses and vulgarity is what best describes you, and now psychotic....What a resume.............

IntelGator
IntelGator

You will never get elected. It will be the end of Miami as we know it

Frank Johnson
Frank Johnson

I dont know man, if Luke can be mayor, the city of Miami is in bad shape as far as politics go.

Caramel queen
Caramel queen

The people who are the cruelest to women in the sex industry with the things they say forget their grandmothers were in the same industry and possibly the biggest cumbuckets and scallywags that existed

caramel Queen
caramel Queen

And You are even more stupid for letting men make u think that pussy is for free while men charge for food clothing and shelter.

Matthew Earl
Matthew Earl

So you would rather vote for the other oppressive candidates? Really? Is that what you really want for your community? More self-serving politicians? Get out of here.

Steph
Steph

The inner city really needs better representation than Luke.

Denisebuckner
Denisebuckner

Go head ink Luke I got yo back cuz these crooked ass cubans and crackers didn't due shit in office to better minorities they did rob Florida blind tho ! But please note u got sum oh yeys that gonna keep u under a microscope so please my brother once u get n office don't j walk or cuss cuz every thing u do gonna be scrutinized 4 sho . I love u my broth a now go turn sum shyt around in Miami ! This coming from a dyke that used to live there but had to get out we r treated like the white man didn't steal us and bring us here to eat shyt and die ! Do u baby boi I'm waiting and if u get in I will cum back home 4 sho cuz I believe n u just dat much ! God bless u and go shake what yo mama gave u all the way 2 city hall! Peace & love

Carloslcruz56
Carloslcruz56

I agree with you 100%. And if Uncle Poop has his way I bet everything I own that he would be in charge of "collecting" from the strippers himself.

caramel Queen
caramel Queen

Norway I don't agree with his idea but he has the right to dream without you coming all the way from Norway with a pompous arrogant patronizing attitude telling him what he can and cannot be. No your wimpy white boy ass is the laughingstock of South Florida you are allergic to the sun so shut up and let the natives of South Florida do their thing. I may not like the idea but I sense alot of you people out there are just jealous of all the obstacles he was able to overcome to be where he is at now. Most of u, know u would of just crumbled

Steph
Steph

Lmaooooo... It would be someone as ghetto as "denisebuckner" to give Uncle Luke support! If you're going to give an arguement, at least be intelligent about it!

Frank Johnson
Frank Johnson

That was intelligent Lorenzo, you must be a proud upstanding contributor to society. Either that or you're 12 years old.

 
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