We Have Herpes in Common

Hello, Kitty:

I'm wondering where to meet people with herpes. I really feel alienated and alone. My ex-boyfriend got herpes from me, but to my surprise he was very accepting and we ended up dating for two years. After awhile, it was as if we didn't even have the virus, and taking our Valtrex was just a part of our daily ritual. However, not many people are as open-minded as he was. I'm turning 20, and around my age, people usually date and have fun, but I feel like I shouldn't socialize with, well, "normies," mainly from fear of rejection. I want to know where I can find someone like me. I mean, I'm sure there's no "herpes anonymous club" or anything... but I dunno... Do you know what I mean?

Ehlon Lee Bhump

Hey, Ehlon:

There are many places for you to meet people with herpes. Try Club Mansion on a Saturday night or the UM campus cafeteria Monday through Thursday. The only problem with trying to find the "infecties" at those spots is that people might not be as forthcoming about their status as you are. If that's the case, lurk inside the waiting room of your local health clinic and look for the people eyeing the "I Have Herpes" pamphlet. Choosing that over the 1987 issue of Highlights is a sure sign of a herpster.

It's beyond great that you want your partner to know your health status, and your honesty should be commended, but the truth is that 25 percent of Americans carry the virus that causes genital herpes, and 90 percent of those folks don't even know they're infected. So while you're being honest, others are telling lies and don't even know it. But don't follow the crowd — you should definitely continue to take the high road and always let normies know you're one of the infecties. A local hospital or health clinic can tell you where to find herpes support groups, or you can take to the Internet and find the herpster who's right for you. While you can surely find one or a thousand on Match.com, the folks who use sites such as H-Date.com and MPwH.net are out, proud, and right up your alley. Meow.

Got a question? Email kitty@miaminewtimes.com, or visit blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/magic_city_kitty

My Voice Nation Help

If you have herpes and feel alone and are in need of support, please contact me.  We have underground facebook groups for people of ALL ages for medical information, support, social and dating. You can contact me through an anonymous email if you want to create one, you can also make a secondary facebook account if your afraid to reveal your full identity which is completely understandable. There are many of us who have a fake facebook accounts (there are also many others who use their real accounts as well) that we use in this secret facebook groups. Hopefully Mark Zuckerberg will understand given the situation.  

Anyway, please contact me if you need support and want to join these groups  abbylane1111@gmail.com


16 percent of Americans have HSV-2 infections. The vast majority — between 75 percent and 90 percent – don’t know they are infected because they don’t get, or don’t notice, herpes sores on their genitals. So, we should not judge a person by herpes because you may have it but do not know.


For people with herpes, it is harder to date someone without the virus. Joining herpes dating sites like http://www.HSVDatingClub.com will make things easier. Nobody will refuse you just because of the virus. Never worry about the "Talk" again! "