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What Will O.J. Simpson Do for a Job? Here Are Some Ideas

July 21, 2017 9:00AM

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Masseur
Orenthal James Simpson — the 70-year-old former Buffalo Bills running back turned crazy criminal — may soon be among us… again. On Thursday, a parole board decided that after nine years of a 33-year sentence, the Juice had served enough time for a Las Vegas hotel heist. So as soon as October, just when the weather starts getting good, he may return to the Magic City. But since his $1.3 million Kendall mansion is in foreclosure, he might get stuck renting in Miami's high-priced market. (Or maybe go to Tampa, where two of his kids live.) To help him find a way to pay that pricey rent, New Times offers these employment suggestions.
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