Food News

Whiskey Dick: Bourbon-Flavored Lube In Time For Exxxotica (Video)

The brains behind Epic Meal Time have taken a page from their YouTube videos and figured out the only thing missing in our consumer-addled-slightly-alcoholic society was bourbon flavored lube.

Whiskey Dick Old No. 69 is totally real and totally available for $11.99 a bottle. It is a water-based, booze-flavored massage oil that, according to the website, is "aged four years in white oak casks", guaranteeing a "velvety-smooth finish". You might spot it at this weekend's Exxxotica Expo at the Miami Beach Convention Center.

The lube won a triple gold medal at the 10th Annual Great American Sex and Drinking Festival in Bean Station,Tennessee (how did we miss covering that event), and won the quadruple gold medal at the Pan-European Schmiermittel Festival in East Berlin, Germany.

We suggest getting a bottle of Whisky Dick FedExed in time for Exxxotica 2012, bringing your favorite adult stars to the Miami Beach Convention Center this weekend. Because you never know when a Bourbon-loving babe might come along.

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Laine Doss is the food and spirits editor for Miami New Times. She has been featured on Cooking Channel's Eat Street and Food Network's Great Food Truck Race. She won an Alternative Weekly award for her feature about what it's like to wait tables.
Contact: Laine Doss