Food News

Valentine's Day Desperation: $10,010 Pizza Hut Engagement

Haven't thought of a Valentine's Day gift yet? Here's an idea for a present that your lover will surely remember the rest of her life: The "Dinner Box Proposal Package" from Pizza Hut.

Granted, what your mate will forever recall is how crazy, tacky, just plain stupid, and desperate you were to shell out more than $10,000 for a pizza-inspired wedding proposal, but the Hut will not forget you. Here is what you get for ten grand:

  • Limo service (presumably to the Pizza Hut of your choice)
  • A ruby engagement ring (personally selected by one of the Hut's tasteful employees!)
  • Fireworks show
  • Photographer and videographer (without photos, you'll be a loser for only one day, but with 'em, your idiocy can be captured forever)
  • Pizza Hut's new $10 Dinner Box (that's what this promo is all about, which includes a medium one-topping pan pizza, five breadsticks with marinara sauce, and ten cinnamon sticks with sweet icing.

"If we're able to fit pizza, breadsticks, and dessert into one box for only $10, why stop there?" asks Kurt Kane, Pizza Hut CMO. "Our customers want the best of everything, from their food to memorable life experiences."

Mr. Kane has a point: Any schmuck who thinks Pizza Hut pizza ranks with "the best of everything" sort of deserves a pizza-sponsored marriage proposal. And any woman who gets proposed to this way is surely being given fair warning as to the sort of fellow doing the proposing. Any gal who says yes to this surely deserves whatever hellish life awaits her.

But the real gall of this offer is that after charging some sad sack $10,000 for essentially helping the pizza company with its promotional efforts, Pizza Hut isn't even willing to throw in the dinner box for free -- it's gotta get that extra ten bucks.

Pizza Hut claims there are only ten packages available and that it has already been contacted by about 80 potential suitors. If you're interested, don't procrastinate: The offer ends Valentine's Day.

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Miami New Times' restaurant reviewer for the past decade, and the world's indisputable master of disguise.
Contact: Lee Klein