Hey there, tour guide. Looking to show your out-of-towners a good time? Frozen drinks at Wet Willie's sure sound like fun. How about Cuban sandwiches at Versailles and Sunday brunch on Lincoln Road? Or, perhaps, a drive to the Everglades for fried alligator. Yes, it's gamey. Yes, it tastes like chicken. But no. Please, no!
With tourists in tow, stop by La Camaronera. Venture to Homestead. Sip on a milk shake while sitting by the petting zoo at Robert Is Here. A scoop (or two) of Azucar Ice Cream's Abuelita Maria flavor -- with cream cheese, Maria cookies, and guava -- is also in order. Cocktails at Broken Shaker, beers at Wood Tavern, late-night sandwiches at La Sandwicherie, and chicharrones at El Palacio de los Jugos: all part of the good host's to-do list.
If these places sound unfamiliar, fret no longer! We've compiled a foolproof list of the top ten places to take out-of-towners. Here's where to go for all unique things food and drink.
10. Mac's Club Deuce + La Sandwicherie
Two places? Two places! Repeat after us. Bo-rra-cho: an inebriated state spurred by shots at the locals-only dive Mac's Club Deuce. Bo-rra-chi-si-mo: a condition of drunkenness that precedes hunger, quenched only by prosciutto and mozzarella sandwiches (with extra vinaigrette) from La Sandwicherie. Here's a recap: Get borrachisimo at Mac's Club Deuce. Stumble to La Sandwicherie across the street. If pals complain about Mac's dinginess or Sandwicherie's odd alleyway locale, then they are not borrachisimo enough. One more drink. One more squish of vinaigrette. Swig. Stumble. Nibble. Proceed.
9. Juvia
Here's a nice place to strut your Louboutin's: Juvia, the penthouse restaurant that recently won a James Beard award for its stylish and stunning design. The spot overlooks Miami Beach and Biscayne Bay, which makes it a stellar setting for all demanding turistas. Invite your guests to an early evening drink before sunset. Look away from your red-bottom heels -- just for a moment. Take in the Magic City sights.
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Rules to follow when taking tourists to West Flagler seafood shack, La Camaronera: First, prepare to eat fried shrimp so good it'll make Celia Cruz scream, "FRITURA!" Second, bring cash. No credit cards accepted here. (Although there is an ATM inside.) And third, in no particular order, sample the following things: fried oysters, fried fish roe, (fried) conch fritters, fried calamari, fried snapper sandwich, fried sweet chili seafood, fried whole fish, fried plantains, AKA tostones. Fritura!
Most petting zoos suck. And most fresh fruit stands are kind of boring. But neither applies to Robert Is Here, a petting zoo/milkshake shop/fresh fruit and vegetable market/farm/more stuff. So drive on down to Homestead, take a right on SW 344th street, and turn left at the haystack and tractor. Once there, listen to the fellow playing guitar and singing Bob Dylan. Order a milkshake with local fruits -- mamey, sapodilla, papaya, Key lime. Sample the raw honey. Admire the sunflowers. Buy some longans. It's a swell place. Plus, you'll see a goat.
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6. Wood Tavern
It's Tuesday. You want tacos -- who doesn't want tacos? -- and you need a beer. Venture to Wood Tavern, an indoor/outdoor bar with picnic tables and a 1960s car that doubles as a taqueria. And, on that special day before hump day, you and your out-of-towners (and everybody else) gets free tacos. The even better news? The carnitas is made by Andres Tovar, from Con Sabor a México Carnitas Estilo Michoacán. Really, though, Wood is great for affordable beers, quesadillas, and booze any night of the week.
Is anything more beautiful than Mandolin Aegean Bistro on a sunny day? Nu uh. Lush greenery surrounds a lovely blue-and-white patio and, in the back, there's an organic garden bursting with kale, parsley, spinach, and more green things. The food at Mandolin is delicious: stuffed zucchini smothered in tomato sauce and finished with a dollop of Greek yogurt, charred octopus served with nothing but a lemon wedge, and sangria -- don't forget the sangria.
Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.
Welcome to the MIA, friends. How would you like to rid yourself of that flight funk with some deep-fried chicharrón, guarapo, and, perhaps, an entire lechón? Just a few minutes from the airport, outdoor cafeteria El Palacio de los Jugos' got tons of fresh juices, Cuban grub, and whole coconuts. Treat your guests to coconut water, straight from the source. It's the right thing to do.
Out-of-towners can be so exhausting. And that's exactly why the Broken Shaker is such a great spot. Not only is it among the coolest bars around, featuring cocktails by acclaimed mixologists Elad Zvi and Gabriel Orta, it's also conveniently located at a super chic hostel, the Freehand Miami. Give guests a few drinks. Drop hints: "Here's a fresh fruit-muddled, housemade bitter-infused, herb-sprinkled cocktail. Here. Have another." "Wow! This hostel sure looks lovely. I'd love to stay here if I was visiting town." "Loser on the next game of Jenga buys the winner a free night at the Freehand!" Lose at Jenga [wink]. Works every time.
Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.
2. Michael's Genuine Food & Drink
No one -- NO ONE! -- should leave the Magic City without trying Hedy Goldsmith's sweets. Preferably her popcorn ice cream. Or her ridiculously delicious brunch pastries and treats. Also, Michael Schwartz's farm fresh fare. Have you tried the deviled eggs? How about those pig ears, eh? Sure, the group behind this flagship restaurant has expanded with other joints across town: The Cypress Room, Harry's Pizzeria, Restaurant Michael Schwartz. But a meal at Michael's is a symbol for how all the good pizza-making started. And, if you have a choice, go for brunch. At that time of day, it's socially acceptable to eat Hedy's pop-tarts before your vegetables.
Everyone loves ice cream. And if there's something people love more than ice cream, it's a local ice cream shop with flavors unique to their surroundings. At Azucar Ice Cream Company, you sit on a bench lined with black-and-white guayaberas while savoring heladitos de mulatica, mamey, or even plátano maduro (!!). That's sweet plantain -- sweet plantain ICE CREAM. On weekends, a salsa band plays on the sidewalk. Shake your hips. Eat some Willy Cherrino ice cream -- that's Cuban speak for double cherry. Revel in the wonders that are sugar, salsa, and Calle Ocho.
Want access to our Best Of picks from your smartphone? Download our free Best Of app for the iPhone or Android phone from the App Store or Google Play. Don't forget to check out the full Best of Miami® online at bestof.voiceplaces.com.
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