5. Cherry Stoner
Once the courtesy laugh wears off, your giftee will realize that you actually gave them a cherry stoner for Christmas and secretly hate you.
4. Gourmet Egg Cooker
Is it really that much fucking trouble to boil a pot of water?
3. Chocolate Spatula Thermometer
2. A tie between the Corn Butter Boat and Compact Bacon Rack
Sorry honey, we can't afford to send you to culinary school, but we got you this fancy microwave cookware.
And our number 1 worst food gift for home cooks, and professional chefs is: