Tobacco Road Serves Free Breakfast for Drunks

You know the scenario: You stumble out of the bar at 2 a.m, piss drunk and starving, in search of the nearest IHOP serving gigantic breakfast platters. But you reach into your pocket and find nothing but a crumpled receipt for 15 Jager bombs and the phone number of some perv scrawled on a napkin. Dammit, you think to yourself, I spent all my money on booze instead of food again. Plus, it's a Tuesday, and I have to operate heavy machinery at my super-important, crack-of-dawn job.

Well, we hate to break it to you, but you're probably going to get canned. On the bright side, we know of a place where bad decisions are rewarded with an awesome free breakfast.

Every weeknight at 1:30 a.m., Tobacco Road's chef Jonathan Fisher scans the old-school watering hole to "see who's in for the long haul." Those customers receive a complimentary breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs, beef brisket, spicy peppers, and house-made pico de gallo wrapped up (like you should be... in your bed) in a corn tortilla. "It gets to be about that time when people need a little fuel to make it through the night," he says, noting that the Brickell bar closes at 5 a.m.

But if you're a goody-two-shoes who never stays out late on a weeknight, you can still game the system and snag some free grub. Just set your alarm clock, like, seven hours early and make it to Tobacco Road by 1:29 a.m. We calculate that if you eat at a one-bite-an-hour ratio, you'll be done just in time for work. You might even have time for some Jager bombs.

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Gabriela Garcia