The Simpsons Super Bowl Coke Ad

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Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.

Hello, evil tooth-rotting, sugar-bombing, heart-starving, blood-sludging, junkie-making, fat-promoting, cancer-juicing, world-dominating multinational corporation. Thanks for this excellent Simpsons Super Bowl advertisement.

Just kidding, Coke. We love ya.

We used to be billionaires too. Then, one day, the bank showed up and seized all of our assets. No more mansion. No more Learjet. No more hounds with bees in their mouths so that when the dogs open wide to bark, the bees fly out and sting you. We lost everything.

All that's left is an old shopping cart and the job security of collecting the ubiquitous, discarded aluminum skins with which you encase your fine product. They're everywhere.

Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.

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Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.


Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.