October 2, 2009 | 11:27am
If you're like me, you don't eat meals, you drink them. You're on a tight schedule with only ten minutes to stuff the gut, so there's never time to chew. But you still need your essential vitamins, nutrients, and other basic sustenance, right? Well, the solution's easy -- just head over to the freshly minted Brickell Irish Pub and get acquainted with the Lush Lunch, a three-course midday meal that's perfect for the professional on the go.
: To start, you'll need a base with enough body to fill an empty stomach, so order up the Brick's $6.25 imperial pint -- 20 ounces! -- of that old dry stout staple, Guinness
. Sip it steadily because you've only got three minutes and thirty three seconds to get it down.
: OK, next, tell your lovely barmaid to prepare a Belfast Carbomb. It's an $8 shot of Bailey's, Kahlúa, and Jameson
with a half-pint Guiness chaser. (Yeah, there's a lot of Guiness involved here. But what did you expect? Like the ad said: "Guiness is good for you.") Toss it back ... Filling, huh?
Three: Finally, you need to sober up. Get straight with the oldest eye-opener in the book, a nice $6 Irish coffee. One part espresso, one part whiskey, and another part dessert. It's the ideal way to end your liquid meal.
Now, admittedly, the Lush Lunch can get kinda pricey ($6.25 + $8 + $6 = $20.25), but you've got an expense account, right? And even if you don't, there's always the cheaper Drunk Dinner, an evening alternative that, conveniently, coincides with the Pub's weekday 3-7 p.m. happy hour when draft beer and well drinks are half-off. Either way, stay Irish, friends. Stay Irish.