Short Order will be hosting a column that combines dating and culinary reviews. The author, Riki Altman is an expert on both.

Let's talk about balls, shall we? Not testicles, per se, but cohones, huevos, grit, moxie, pluck... you know, that magical thing it takes to really get a job done. If looks were all it took to get into my miniskirt, my last date would've had me naked before we hit the hostess stand. But this foodie femme fatale needs to be tantalized in equal parts by repartee and fine food.

The guy in this case was a surgeon. The cost was $350. And the restaurant was The Forge, that newly redone beauty on 41st Street. Why did he give me the deer-in-the-headlights look when our bill arrived? He did most of the ordering. Considering what my girlfriends have paid for their boobs, he should've had ample Benjamin-age. And why did he tell me he was an adventurous eater, only to order the most basic stuff on the menu?