Christmas carols are awful. They're cheery, and wintery, and boast the same effects as Ambien does for insomnia.
The 12 Days of Christmas is your Christmas playlist's biggest offender.
But when things go awry at the Christmas table tonight, Short Order has a way of one-upping the hot mess that results from Uncle Tony's slurred words and Nana's Bourbon-wasted pecan pie.
After everyone's third bottle of Malbec, just sway your glasses to the melody of 12 Days of Christmas - Short Order style.