Cocktails & Spirits

Ten Perfect Cocktails For Getting Slutty Halloween Characters in the Sack

So, I don't particularly care for the word slut, but seriously ladies, most of the stuff you are wearing as a "costume" is really just naughty lingerie meant for the bedroom. In fact, Halloween in Miami is really more of a porn convention, where holiday creativity is willingly replaced with trampy outfits on parade. We've spied everything from the typical French maid, to a super short version of Dorothy's Midwestern gingham. (Uh, I don't think that's what Frank would say they wear in Oz.)

Since the female population is obviously going to great lengths to entice you gentlemen, the least you can do is get the girl a drink. What to buy her at the bar? Intimidated by a S&M construction worker in a spiked bra?

Sure to take you from "Hello, beautiful!" to "Sorry, I don't snuggle," here's our libation line-up for the Halloween party-man with a plan, because at a certain age, "would you like some candy, little girl?" just doesn't quite make the grade.

Oh, and to my fellow female-kind: don't worry, you do look sexy and fabulous. It is indeed Halloween, so let your freak fly.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Lesley Elliott
Contact: Lesley Elliott